i tried to end my life just under a month ago, a lovely cup of charcoal fixed me right up and when i was discharged my notes said i wasn't even bad enough to warrant counselling. this was not my first attempt. i suffer from (all diagnosed) depression, ptsd and trichotillomania) and well has having been sick for six years from thoracic outlet syndrome (i only managed to get a diagnosis and surgery last november). i've been taken out of school, though i have to complete it at home. I have been suicidal and acting impulsively on it for years now. i'm good at lying, apparently too good for my parents. it seems they can tell when i lie about eating the last cookie but not tell when i'm lying about being okay. i only have a few online friends and pen pals, real life friends have lost interest since i became too sick (from the thoracic outlet) to go to school last year. i need to be put under constant watch, my brain wont stop churning out awful ideas, i haven't slept in almost 48 hours and i just want it to be over. please help.