I've been depressed for a couple of months now, early October I was looking at methods and trying to buy a< edit mod total eclipse method> I didn't as I'm still here but I'm still thinking about it. I rang the samaritans tonight for the first time and it just didn't work. Not blaming the woman on the other end as it must be a hard job but I feel like she was disinterested. That's probably just me though and I think if someone is going to volunteer at this time of night they must care, not trying to bring her down or anything. Just how do I tell someone? I live with 3 friends, one of whom is female and who I'm very close to, but how the hell do I say 'I've been thinking about suicide and looking up methods'. How does one bring that up? It's bloody hard. I went home for a week to try and escape it all (I'm at uni in York, uk) and I have to go back on Saturday. I kinda left abruptly and I think my housemates might be a little annoyed with me for just leaving like that without saying anything but I needed it otherwise I would have done away with myself by now. How do I tell my friend? I don't want to seem weak and pathetic and annoying and put that on her but if I don't I will kill myself, it's been on my mind for so long. I've been drinking a hell of a lot to try and fight it. Thanks, Jane.