How do I tell someone?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by anarulesmenow, Nov 14, 2013.

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  1. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    I've been depressed for a couple of months now, early October I was looking at methods and trying to buy a< edit mod total eclipse method> I didn't as I'm still here but I'm still thinking about it. I rang the samaritans tonight for the first time and it just didn't work. Not blaming the woman on the other end as it must be a hard job but I feel like she was disinterested. That's probably just me though and I think if someone is going to volunteer at this time of night they must care, not trying to bring her down or anything. Just how do I tell someone? I live with 3 friends, one of whom is female and who I'm very close to, but how the hell do I say 'I've been thinking about suicide and looking up methods'. How does one bring that up? It's bloody hard. I went home for a week to try and escape it all (I'm at uni in York, uk) and I have to go back on Saturday. I kinda left abruptly and I think my housemates might be a little annoyed with me for just leaving like that without saying anything but I needed it otherwise I would have done away with myself by now. How do I tell my friend? I don't want to seem weak and pathetic and annoying and put that on her but if I don't I will kill myself, it's been on my mind for so long. I've been drinking a hell of a lot to try and fight it.
    Thanks,

    Jane.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 14, 2013
  2. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Ask her if she has time and say, that latley things have been rough for you. And than I would explain what's been going on lately and that you've been thinking about suicide.
    I mean, I would do it like this.
    Hopefully it helps
    Blacky :hug:
     
  3. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    Thanks, I'm really grateful for the reply. It's just finding the right words and time for it, I'm not so sure what to say.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I really think you need to be talking to a professional someone that can help you Your friend cannot help you as she does not have the skills to do so. You can just tell her the truth you are very depressed under alot of pressure and you need help so the depression does not take you away from the ones you care about. Go to the councilor at your school that is what they are there for Just tell them your depression is worsening and you need some help to cope Be careful though about stating you are suicdal because some schools will discharge a pt if they say that but if you say you are very depressed and just need to talk to someone that may just be enough to help pull you out a bit.
     
  5. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    I get that I need to talk someone professional, and I am also grateful for your support. I was thinking about popping into the hospital if it ever gets this bad again. I know that sounds silly but our doctors is booked up for two weeks. But it would be great to be able to talk to a friend too.
     
  6. NickHalden

    NickHalden Member

    Hi Anarulesmenow,

    I'm in a similar boat as you, as far as depression for months. And researching exit strategies. But I've told my family. Well, specifically my sister and father. And my trick was to just say it. I waited for the first lull in the conversation and the blurted, "So, I've been suffering from depression lately, and I'm worried it's getting serious". The logic there is...once it spills out, you can't take it back. And that's the only step you have to get through. Once you've started the conversation, the rest is easy(er). So...you don't have to worry about how to phrase the whole conversation, just how to blurt the opening. The rest will just be a conversation.

    And as far as going to the hospital, they absolutely take that threat seriously. And it doesn't matter if it's 5pm on a Friday, they'll drop everything to take care of you. Let them know you're depressed, and worried you may hurt yourself. But even if you want to make an appointment, letting them know you're concerned you might take action will get you a same or next day appointment. At least, that's how it worked for me.

    Best regards to you.

    And if you ever want to chat, rant, or hear someone elses story, just send me a PM. Really, anytime.

    Best Regards, and good luck to you.

    -Nick
     
  7. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hi. I really hear that you want to find a way to talk with your friend about this. I think it was great that you called the samaritans. However, I am sorry the person sounded disinterested. How would it be to try emailing the samaritans? Or to call at a different time of day so you do not get the same person? I have had to do that with a helpline. Second person (second try) was really helpful.

    I totally understand that your doctor doesnt have appointments for 2 weeks. But Is there a counselor at the uni you go to? I just am hoping you can find someone who really can hear you who is a professional and can help in that capacity.A school counselor or school physician? Some people are helped greatly by pills. I know someone in Devon who takes pills for depression. She calls them her happy pills. They have helped so much. Her life is a lot better now. So I am hoping that either you can go to hospital if you need to brefore saturday, or go to the school doctor and or counselor when you get back to uni.

    Again, I am not ignoring your question about telling your friend. I just do not know how to do that. I honestly didnt have good luck doing it. But others have had very good luck telling a friend. It just depends. Please do go to hospital if you feel like you need to. Okay? Please do not give up on life. fight for it so your friend does not lose you. By the way, I am very sorry you suffer with depression. Its horrible. sighs. I do not know if this hug is okay. If not, then ignore it :hug: there.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 15, 2013
  8. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    Hey guys thanks for the replys. Getting a counsellor at uni takes ages, I've been thinking about walking into the hospital a and e department tbh, but i have an essay in soon and if i go in the essay gets compromised and i might fail uni and i can't do that. The other worry is my housemates will notice if i disappear for a while to hospital. It's just so hard to tell someone something like 'well i've been trying to buy a noose to hang myself', you know?
     
  9. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I get it. Just please try to take care of yourself. Are you going to go through the motions to apply for counseling even though it takes ages to get the help? i hope so. Take it from an old lady, sometimes we can look back and realize that if we had applied way back when we were thinking of it, then it would be happening already. If you know what mean. And yes, I am an old lady. But dont tell too many people :D I just hope you take care of yourself. I do get what you are saying though.
     
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