How do normal people do it?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by attack_amazon, Feb 5, 2009.

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  1. attack_amazon

    attack_amazon Well-Known Member

    My therapist thinks I should interact with people more. Social situations make me so nervous and uncomfortable that I haven't left the house except to go train, go to school, or run errands in for nearly a month. Even at school it's hard because I can't talk to anyone and I'm terrified of speaking up in class, even though I love my classes this semester. I know I should be forging bonds with the professors and stuff, because I'm going to be here awhile and I need them to write me references for my grad program, but I just can't do it. I can't think of anything to say really and I can't look at people and my being nervous makes other people nervous, which makes me even more nervous. I've thought about joining a club or something, but I can't think of anything I like to do that isn't a more or less solitary endeavor. My therapist suggested MENSA, since my IQ is high enough and she thinks part of my problem is I don't have enough interaction with people on my same intellectual level, but MENSA is freaking intimidating, especially since the town I live in is full of actual rocket scientists. I can just visualize walking into a meeting with these guys and someone saying, "I build parts for the space station, what do you do for a living?" and I say, "Um...I hit people." My therapist says I'm too hard on myself, and she's probably right. If I could relax, I would probably be okay, or at least a little better, but it's just so hard not to get freaked out by all this. I'm perfectly fine at writing to people, though. I sound like a half-sane person when I write and not a gibbering moron, so I thought about doing a penpal program, like writing to servicemen and women overseas or to someone in prison or something, but that still doesn't solve the problem of actually sitting down and talking to someone.

    Any suggestions?
     
  2. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    I have found the best thing to do is to try to surround yourself with people that are more outgoing then you. Although this doesn't get over the initial problem of talking to people... What are some of the things that go through your head when you talk to people? Maybe you can write them down and have your therapist do a little cognitive behavorial therapy with you... I've found its helped me some with these situations.
     
  3. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Do you know why you're so anxious when it comes to social situations? is it fear of something? Perhaps you could give MENSA a chance, your therapist may be right and it's worth a go. What are you studying? When you introduce yourself perhaps mention what you're studying, it sounds like you've got a lot going for you and you're very intelligent. It can be hard to gain social skills, it's something that's learnt as you go on, some find it easier than others and it can be a difficult task. When you're in class perhaps smile at your classmates or say hello, when you know an answer to a question try answering them. Sometimes it's the fear which holds us back, it can help to remember i don't doubt there's some people in your classes who feel anxious as well. at the end of the day we're all people. You sound decent, other people are too. Good luck. :hug:
     
  4. SpencerA

    SpencerA Well-Known Member

    any chance of you being aspergers? by the sounds of it you're very intelligent and just have trouble socialising. if not, it could be just low self-esteem, and i say just, but it's a big thing it get over. are you having cognitive behavioural therapy? (i don't know if it's called the same thing in the US) i have it and find it really helpful, or ever considered group therapy? you could meet people in the same position as you and because someone would be in charge there wouldn't be as much pressure on you.
     
  5. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    Yeah with the CBT thing, my therapist and I are actually going to try it this monday because I have a similar issue at times... have you tried this attack?
     
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