how do people treat you when you're in a flashback?

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by plates, May 28, 2010.

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  1. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    what things make you feel worse?
    do people understand how dangerous it can be?

    do you feel belittled by people, lets say if they have no history of serious abuse, show little interest in your life, talking complete bullshit? can that be a trigger?

    do you get ""aggressive,"" start yelling and shouting, and how do people react?

    is it me, or am i the only person who is completely alone offline in dealing with this?

    i thought my last therapist would help me but all she helped me was "control" what she didn't get was that was making me worse,-she took ALL credit of my wellbeing to keep myself out of crisis, on herself, and she didn't want to deal with the painful issues that were too risky, skating around a crisis can help so much, but that's about it.

    i found myself drinking, and when i presented this to her, her reaction was so fucking offensive i had to leave.
  2. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    My therapist reminds me it isn't now - that I am safe now and have options...

    I also have some object that helps to ground me - for me it is a stuffed animal that I have a duplicate of at the therapists office - Dr. Hugs... since my therapist will not touch me - Dr. Hugs is there. Sort of like a security blanket - silly - but it grounds me.

    Sometimes all I can do is ride it out

    He had me put his cell phone on my quick dial, and talked through to all of me - so that the little ones could call too.....

    The key has been to look at the horrors, feel them - not fight them, accept the horrific nature - process blame/shame/grief/loss/rage.... never try to deal with it alone - that is what was traumatic in the first place...

    You need someone to bring you to the reality that it is now - not then, and someone cares and is there to support....

    Many of my old flashbacks have gone completely - I know it happened, but the intensity is gone and the triggers are no longer.

    The difficulty I have is the ongoing nature and years of it...

    I have been processing flashbacks for 4 years now, and I am beginning to feel more real - but it hurts and for every two steps forward it seems i take one backwards...

    Take care of yourself - I write it all out if there is no one there and share it later...

    I went thru three therapists that didn't work over the past, before I got to the one who has been effective for the last 4 years....

    :hug: You know I have been in a bad place of late - but I hope to be able to be supportive of others in the future...Keep writing! You have been very helpful to me!!!
  3. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    T-bear thank you for your words- I relate so much to it, the importance of processing rather than blocking; that ends up with dissociation stemmed with paralysed fear for me- does this happen for you too?---but then again, the importance of grounding and resting too. You're not obligated to me or anyone here in replying, as I know how much pain you're in. I always love hearing from you anyway :hug:. It's so good to know you have a therapist who knows exactly what you're going through, can keep you safe- and Dr Hugs sounds like a safe helpful idea for you. I know the importance of hugging/comfort, and I have to say.....I threw away the bear my ex gf got me, your Dr Hugs was a reminder that I might need something similar!

    I've gone through/and am in, a very similar process to yourself, and am so much a different person than lets say 3 years ago. I'm not this numb starving thing anymore whose anger came out in little hiccups. I've gone through hell and back with these flashbacks- or "present situation" things where I'm screaming at what I am in. I remember my ED psychologist saying "When you go through treatment/recover, you might find yourself in hospital a lot of the time", it's only now I realise what he meant. I thought he meant inpatient at an eating disorder clinic- (whose treatment was not for me and was very dangerous btw), maybe he did- but my crises were more general as the ED was being fully taken care of by myself.

    I was nearly on death's door with the ED, to recover meant- dealing with what my eating disorder meant, which would mean many hospital admissions. I've only had one since 07, and many crises that I've managed. So great right?
    Last edited by a moderator: May 29, 2010
  4. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    this is old. i was going to start another thread but i wanted to bump this

    : the new things if anyone wants to talk about is death, people thinking "you've gone through this before and you will survive," the feeling of people living in a different world when it comes to reality and death , death that isn't an idea/ or an escape but something overwhelming that can kill you at times of crisis.

    i feel very alone when it comes to people understanding what i'm going through and their reactions, which is usually "you can get through it" and "you've gone through it before" and their words that have no depth or sincerity or knowledge

    and every time i survive, it's more ammo for them to tell me this same BS the next time when i'm on edge.
  5. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    maybe i should start writing about what i'm looking for and what i do, what i've done to get through this, because it seems like i do a lot without thinking.

    but there are things that trigger me no end

    and a few of them are, just the cardboard reactions you get by workers/ people who don't care and don't realise risk. i think that triggers me, the lack of assessing risk.

    i usually end up talking to myself in my threads but whoever's read this and wants to contribute feel free.
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