How do you all do it?!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by muv_ur_dolly, Nov 4, 2010.

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  1. muv_ur_dolly

    muv_ur_dolly Member

    I know there are vetran members on here, and people who have been suicidal most of thier life - I just want to know how you guys do it!?

    I've wanted to kill myself for about 4, going on 5 years now. It feels like I can't do it anymore. I'm drained of energy, of my will to fight. Everyday of every hour or every minute I struggle not to just end it all. I don't know what's stoping me now, I just know it can't go on like this.

    What drives you guys? Where do you get your strength from? How could these feeling possible go on for years and years?
     
  2. Juliaa

    Juliaa Well-Known Member

    Hope drives me. I just hope that one day, things will be different.
    That someday I will have what I need, even though I don't know what that is yet.

    :hug:
     
  3. Johnnyc

    Johnnyc Well-Known Member

    One thing is that I really do not want my parents and sisters to suffer a loss in the family.
    Also I am trying too better myself by therapy and getting an education.

    Life truly is to short why make it shorter.
     
  4. Alliance

    Alliance Well-Known Member

    Fear. Fear of the infinite experiences that are possible during my life. Fear of actually going through the process of committing the act.

    However, at this point, I'm much more scared of life. I've been suicidal 15+ years.

    I go on because I feel I have to, not because I want to. Maybe one day I will realize that I do not have to go on anymore, once I've had the last straw.
     
  5. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    I have a lot of bad times, but there's some good times interspersed. I just try to focus on the good times.

    it's definitely hard though.
     
  6. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i made my first attempt at 16, i'm 44 now. still struggling. lots has changed over the years. i was finally diagnosed as being bipolar. with that came medication, and that has made a huge difference. i have an amazing therapist and she is helping me deal with the crappy childhood i experienced. that's also given me hope. i've learned to go into the hospital when i am a danger to myself, and that it's okay to be there. mostly i believe that i will be healed one day. not there yet, but on my way.
     
  7. Jacob1973

    Jacob1973 Well-Known Member

    Simply put, I dont know how I am alive. I guess I am simply too lazy to do it today, or are so busy with work that it just evades my mind most of the day.

    I mostly feel like this... :itachi: Simply ignored by everyone around me...
     
  8. Lars

    Lars Member


    your happy and sad sad and happy its all good.. But when you start to complain it brings others down which is a shitty buzz... You gotta live to be chillz in life, and treat others accordingly... Dont expect things to turn out good, because life is shit. Just be happy you had the chance to experience a bad situation, cause a lot of people have it much worse. When you wake up in the morning feeling sorry for something you did or didnt do, thats just bullshit cause there is nothing you can do. Just relax and take it easy, stop expecting things, nothing should be expected, there is no such thing as an expectation. Just stay chillz........... take it easy.. Just think to yourself thats no worries ( it really is most of the time no worries )...
     
  9. japanlover

    japanlover Well-Known Member

    I continue to go day by day because im a coward. I hope to tell myself enough that I will do it one day. :sheep2:
     
  10. PollyAnna

    PollyAnna Account Closed

    Because I want to see If I can actually beat my suicidal tendencies.
     
  11. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Same here. There's nothing that drives me anymore. I'm still here simply because my nuts fell off and don't have the courage to do it. Make no mistake people, I'm not here because there's part of me that still want to live.
     
  12. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    I do it for the ones around me, how unfair for me to cause them pain like Im feeling.
     
  13. Marlon

    Marlon New Member

    because i hope that one day my life will turn around
     
  14. non-existent

    non-existent Active Member

    Only because of my parents.

    My life would have been over about 10 years ago if it weren't for them. I wish they'd realize it is better to forget me, but they don't.

    So I have to wait... Wait much too long...

    I hate to see myself growing old. People thinks that's strange for an 18-year-old, but yes, I feel old. Should have died long before, for suicide, murder, illness or whatever. Why the hell did I survive? I know... for my parents, only for them.
     
  15. DeepEmz

    DeepEmz Well-Known Member

    Im scared.
     
  16. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    fear of another failure but the fears fading
     
  17. Alliance

    Alliance Well-Known Member

    I'm 31, yet look like I'm 22. I feel very old though, and kinda act like a crotchety old man already.

    I do NOT want to grow old. I don't want to be an old person, I don't want to get ugly and wrinkled, I don't want to have health problems, etc. I don't want to die from cancer or another painful illness. I don't want to be alone when I get older either. At least you're 18, and not 31 like me. Use your time wisely, because before you know it, you'll be as old as me. People tell me I'm not old, but time flies so fast, and I'll be 40 before I know it.
     
  18. non-existent

    non-existent Active Member

    @Alliance
    I never thought I'd be 18... I was sure I would not make it that long. But I did, unfortunately. I have not much influence on what happens with my life, and if someone would give me a good life I'd say no, for my past and my guilt keep following me I will never earn even one good day again...
     
  19. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Perhaps what keeps me going is fear of failure. What if I did not succeed. What if I ended up in a vegatative state because the pills I took, or method I used, did not completely work?

    What if I did not hold on long enough and in the end there would have been peace? What if i failed and ended up hospitalized? Perhaps I would rather live in a hell I know about than risk what would happen if I tried and failed.

    Please keep holding on. And even though it may be hard, try to think that relief may be in your future, if you can stay alive.
     
  20. pookeo9

    pookeo9 Member

    All I do is stop and think for one minute. Do I really commit suicide so I can leave this earth so soon? Theres so many things I haven't seen and depression can take it all away.
     
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