How do you answer this?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Leiaha, Jul 10, 2009.

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  1. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    There is one question mental health workers always ask me that I never know how to answer. How would you answer it?
    The question is:-

    'what do you think we can do to help you?'

    Throws me everytime! How the hell do Iknow? They are supposed to be the ones with the answers, not me. If I knew the answer to this, I could probably do it without them Lol
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I would respond that way saying honestly i don't know how you can help me
    can you tell me how you can assist me into getting myself well. I would say you can help me identify what i am doing wrong or what is wrong with me chemically so i can fix it. How have you helped people in my situation before get well. Be honest with your therapist and just say what comes in the top of your head not angry but honestly say i don't know.
  3. depleted_soul

    depleted_soul Well-Known Member

    I've told them I didn't know. Honestly, if I knew the answer to that question I wouldn't have had to seek help from them in the first place. I always thought they should be the ones who try to come up with a treatment plan for me to try. So many questions they've asked me and the only answer I had was "I don't know." Might not be the answer they wanted to hear but it was the only one I had.
  4. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    Hi Lea,

    I think they only ask that question to make you see that it is actually you that have to help yourself. I think they just want to make sure that you don't have the misconception that just being in therapy will make the pain go away, but that you will know that you have to work on it. That's just what I think.

    I also hate that classical psychology thing of turning the question around on you. But sometimes it does help to think about things you haven't thought about before. It does take time, but eventually you do get some answers. It took me almost 24 years, to get to know myself and I still think I know very little.

    The important thing is that you remain open to whatever help they can give you. Hope all is going well!

  5. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    You are so right :rofl:
  6. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Yeah, therapy just points you in the right direction / gives you new ideas to help yourself. When it comes down to it, they can't do the thinking for you. You have to recognize where your problems have come from and why you feel the way you do. Personally, I've never been asked that question.
    My response would be 'I don't know, you're the trained professional...'
  7. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Oh yeah, hate that question also. haha but as someone has already said, the answer they are looking for is:

    "I suppose I just want you to help me open my eyes and see something I haven't seen before. And maybe that thing will be the thing that helps me get myself out of this".

    Psychs and Therapists know that they can't work miracles, the same way the meds can't.
    It's like we're in a 12ft hole and a couple of people throw down a rope and yell "I'm going to tie this to a tree okay and then I want you to pull yourself up". And you're thinking "WTF! Why can't you guys just pull me up!?". :)

    It was nice of them to even bring the rope (thousands wouldn't) but that's all they can do.

    What a crap analogy. I make myself laugh. lol
  8. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    My reply is always 'I don't know' to these type of questions....why do they bother asking?
  9. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Linds83: actually a bloody good analogy. Problem is if you haven't the strength to pull yourself up!? Then they say you're not trying.
  10. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I fucking hate this question. Especially when they don't know anything about me or read my notes as to why I'm there. I got it with the crisis nurse who was going to section me for asking questions and telling him he was aiding a suicide attempt by his behaviour. I told him exactly what I wanted from him but he kept repeating the question.

    What I want generally is simple. People who read my notes, who listen and who monitor me and ask the right questions about my safety. I know they can't do anything because they aren't trained, they are only trained to do what I know they can do (very little but medicate). MH workers in the UK are not therapists or counsellors, nor are psychiatrists. They are there to 'stabilise' and 'monitor' and try and appear to give the people a choice, maybe that's why they ask that question. :dunno:

    I hate this question. To me it just reeks of 'I don't know what to do I only know how to prescribe pills, we don't know what we are doing and you know what you need! You aren't sick or distress and aren't here because you don't know and you've come here for help! You need to tell me, but if you tell me something I don't like, then you'll see what we can do which is scare you by throwing a great angry fit into telling me a certain, stale answer as to "how we can help you"' which doesn't require any thinking or action from ourselves..'

    I generally told the man the last time, less contact with him and not to see him again.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2009
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Lea,
    I would tell them that they should help me to learn to deal with these self defeating thoughts.. That I need help controling the irrational thoughts..That I need someone to show me I can trust them!! I need help to rebuild my self esteem..What I guess I'm trying to say is that I have some thoughts that degfeat me and cause me to not have that self esteem, and that I need help learning to trust people again..Take Care SIS!!
  12. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    A psychiatrist turned up at my house yesterday and after about 10 minutes he asked me this question. I replied 'I hate it when people ask me that!'
    He said ' Oh! I really sorry ' He then changed the subject!
  13. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope he comes back again then you can say i have the answer to the question you asked before Ask him to help you feel better again along with all the great answers people gave you here. Take care
  14. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni


    I do hate that question too!
  15. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I've had several therapists and have never been asked that question.

    I would answer, "I don't are my symptoms, I would think that since you are the therapist, you would know".
  16. JBird

    JBird Well-Known Member

    I only read the first bit of your post and none of the replies, this is what immediately popped into my head when you asked the question.

    A lot of peope get up your arse if you say you want them to help you 'get better'. I think the proper answer to that question is you'd like to know all the options on how to help yourself and for them to help you by supporting you and motivating you to carry them out, that way you'll be making it clear you want to help yourself instead of relying on others or completely on meds.
  17. QuadLazer

    QuadLazer Well-Known Member

    Honestly, it's mostly about laziness. You're one of possibly hundreds of people that they see. Almost no one in that field of work has any personal experience with suicide, mostly everything they know is from a book. Not calling them incompetent, though in my opinion majority of them are, it's just they don't understand their job title very well and want to rush on to the next patient.

    I don't want to sound really discouraging, but trust me, therapy isn't about helping patients. It's about making money. From my experience, most therapists are more interested in perpetuating a patient's problems rather than solving them. That's why it's called treatment, not curing. They consistently compare having "depression" to having a broken leg, but if it really were that way then depression would be curable. If they actually worked through everything with you and solved your situation (whether it take a week or a year), they wouldn't be making any money from you from that point, or whoever is paying for it. It's the concept of "helping, but not too much" so you'll keep coming back to them. It's all about their job security.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 21, 2009
  18. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Yeah I found this too.
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