How do you bring it up in conversation?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Silenceisbliss, Apr 12, 2009.

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  1. Just curious,

    im not planning to tell anyone about my depression/suicidal feelings but if i was does anyone know how to talk about this to someone you are close to?

    i cant quite imagine saying something like, "pssst...thought about killing myself yesterday. Wanna talk about it?"

    Is it even a good idea to tell someone?:unsure:
  2. dreamachine

    dreamachine Active Member

    Well, I would say it is a good thing to tell people you are suicidal because (hopefully) they will help you. The only problems is that.. I dunno, people tend to overreact and don't know how to deal with the situation and things like that. I can't bring myself to tell people I am suicidal still either, though. And sometimes if you are talking about suicide people assume it is only attention seeking, which can be very hurtful to hear people say.

    Edit to say.. also, if you are in crisis mode you should definitely tell someone because even if they have reactions that are hurtful at that moment to you, I know your loved ones do not want you to commit suicide.

    I don't think you are attention seeking at all but this thought just popped in my head. Even if someone is threatening/attempting suicide simply for a cry for help or attention, obviously that person still has problems and people SHOULD be just as sympathetic to that feeling as they are towards people who truly want to die, but people get worse when they think its a cry for attention anyway.

    I'm rambling but I guess I just mean its awkward to bring up out of nowhere and people may have negative reactions, but it is always better to tell someone so you have a fighting chance at the help you need.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 12, 2009
  3. soapymongoose

    soapymongoose Well-Known Member

    This is a question that I think of a lot. I didn't tell anyone I'd tried it for 10 years. I haven't felttoo much different since, I've just learnt to live with it. I've told my therapist I think like that sometimes, and also my GP but I was caned at the time and regretted it instantly :dry:

    I wouldn't dream of mentioning the elaborate plans I make in my head to do with the subject to anyone close to me. I have an idea of how I'd feel if one of my best friends/close family members said something like that to me so I don't think it would be fair to ever mention my innermost thoughts and feelings on the subject.

    Even the little things are a reason to go on though. Like my kitty curling up on my chest and purring loudly whilst rubbing me lovingly with her head whilst I type this :rolleyes:
  4. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Suicidal feelings stay between me and my therapist.
  5. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    most people know I'm depressed
    I just don't care anymore

    "hey how've you been"

    me - "hospital"

    "oh what's wrong"

    me - "I was gonna kill myself"

  6. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    It's always a risk telling people these kind of things. I've only ever told a few people outside of this forum. A couple of them have been great about it and have done loads to try and help me get through this. Our friendship has deepened because it has enabled me to be so honest with them. On the other hand there was one person who I loved dearly and they just ran a mile.
  7. SweetSurrender

    SweetSurrender Well-Known Member

    It is definately a good idea to tell someone. Why do you feel you shouldn't tell anyone? Depression is a mental illness, it isn't something to be ashamed of. It is treatable and recovery is possible. It may even help to speed the recovery process if you did tell someone, having that release will most likely make the pain a lot easier to deal with.

    I think the best thing to do, if you want to tell someone, is to get a place and time where you are both comfortable and you have the time to talk properly. The first person i told was my sister, i couldn't talk outloud so i wrote her a short letter and left it on her bed, it was easier that way because i couldn't back out of it etc. Then i told my parents, i told them one evening when the family were out and i just said i'd been to the drs because i was feeling low and i'd be diagnosed with depression. It was difficult but it was worse hiding it all the time.

    It is probably wise not to say everything in one go - e.g. you may not want to start off with the fact you feel suicidal because that can be very scary to hear! Maybe tell them that you have been feeling really depressed for quite awhile and that it is really making day to day life a struggle. Most people will have an inkling of what that is like and be understanding. Once you've started the conversation, you'll find the next conversation easier and you'll be able to explain more. The key is to start open lines of communication again at a pace you find comfortable.

    It is scary, i'm awful at communicating when i'm depressed because my mind puts a blockade up, but it makes the pain easier to handle when you don't feel so alone with it. If you have someone you feel close to and feel able to talk to then you definately should. You have every right to be able to talk about depression, it is nothing to be ashamed about.
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