How do you choose between life and death?

[**The_End_Is_Nigh**]

Hi All

Merry Christmas and hope you all have a Merry New Year!

I am on a cross road now not knowing which road to take whether it is the right one or the wrong one.

My life has always been cursed and rubbish (I even hate it but I like myself?) but I can now see a glimmer of hope the only thing is that I am still stuck between life and death and dont seem to be able to make any improvements with my life especially with my hygene as it seems to have gone down hill alot.

I suppose I was just wondering how you would go about choosing life or death?? so it would stick in your mind and your mind would agree with the decision.

Also success stories on how you were able to choose between life and death would be great to please.

 

[plates]

i don't choose. i live with injuries
what stops me attempting is the fear of a failed attempt and long term physical damage

 

[Stranger1]

I live with suicidal thoughts everyday.. I went thru five years of therapy and have learned coping skills and the difference between cognitive distortions..I learned to live with the thoughts and I address them every morning.. It helps me to get thru the day.. I hope you seek therapy and learn how to control the thoughts..

 

[SomeoneElse]

Flip a coin?

Honestly though, living day after day with things progressively getting worse as each day goes by sort of sets it in your mind.

 

[Wiseblood]

Death is hard. It is. The body won't just shut down...at will. You have to end it, with an act of extreme violence. Doesn't seem fair does it? I'm not afraid of death...I'm afraid of ballzing it up. Of waking up in an NHS Ward after a failed attempt and assuring the remaining few who give a toss that I won't do it again.

But, there...I've said too much. You're supposed to feel sorry for me now, and I'm supposed to feel ashamed. Boo hoo me, I'm here and I feel sorry. You're a coward, you're selfish how dare you do that with your life. Look at what you've done to your mother. Look at your niece; how can she grow up without an...something.

I do feel sorry for me. Sorry that it might be a railway track, surely thats something to feel sorry about? Maybe I don't feel it enough but I feel it now.

Sorry that it won't go away. That death is so hard.

 

[Dave_N]

Our bodies are programmed to surive over millions of years of evolution. That's why it is so hard to die. Choosing life is always better than choosing death. We're here for a reason and that reason isn't to end our lives prematurely.

 

[**The_End_Is_Nigh**]

Thanks all for replying to my thread very much appreciated!

Plates:

I suppose I am in the same boat as you as I have thought and found many ways of killing myself but your right “what stops me attempting is the fear of a failed attempt and long term physical damage”. Not long ago I went on holiday abroad and dedicated myself to jumping off the top of the apartment block but when I was there I looked around the place and just thought where ever I do it someone is going to find my body but I want to die alone does not make sense does it??

So what you are saying Plates is that we need to build our lives on top of our abusive situations that we have had to deal with? a bit like Jenga.

Stranger1:

You and me both mate! when I saw my doctor and filled out a mental progress sheet my suicide thoughts were 9/10 because of my past life and present life as I just do not have a proper one. Blimey five years of therapy gulp! I have been seeing my Cognitive Behavioural Therapist for a year, so I have four years to go?

I think I am unable to address my thoughts every morning or day because I am unable to make a decision, stick with it and work towards completing it however big or small the decision is. But a part of me just says what if it goes horribly wrong I am the one who is going to suffer but saying that I could suffer anyway if I do not do anything about my decisions in general. Why is life so complicated?? Maybe that is why I am failing with CBT Therapy I even tried Life Coaching for a month but failed that as I could not make a decision.

SomeoneElse:

I have in fact flipped a coin and it came up tails all the time saying no don’t but how can I live a life when I do not know how to make decisions? You can say that again “living day after day with things progressively getting worse as each day goes by sort of sets it in your mind.”

Wiseblood:

You can say that again that death is hard:-( and the body wont just shut down at will. Your right death is not fair but nor is life. Im not afraid of death either and if I tried to kill myself I couldn’t as I too am afraid of ballzing it up. Of waking up in an NHS Ward after a failed attempt and assuring the remaining few who give a toss that I won't do it again.

I have no one to care about me well apart from my grandma but she is a sap for feeling sorry for people full stop and also feels sorry for evil people so does not mean a lot, my mother loathes me as I am not a daughter that she wanted unless my umbilical cord is still attached near my groin haha! And my father never wanted a son he wanted a punch bag, kick bag and someone to inflict his mental pain on instead.

The rest of my family well all they care about is themselves! I feel for ya and you’re not a coward. Me to: “Sorry that it won't go away. That death is so hard”.

Dave N:

Damn Our bodies to be programmed to survive over millions of years of evolution, maybe I could invent a super virus or something? Hmmmm. “Choosing life is always better than choosing death.

We're here for a reason and that reason isn't to end our lives prematurely.” When you are stuck like I am how the hell can I improve my life if I choose life!?? Im stuck! I would like to know the reason why I have been put on Earth as I can’t find a reason why I should stay here.


Please feel free all who are reading this to reply to it and have your say, cheers!