How Do You Combat The Physical Pain of Depression?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Stigma, Apr 21, 2007.

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  1. Stigma

    Stigma Member

    The weather is now beautiful.
    People are out in record numbers enjoying the days at hand.
    Me on the other hand, I am trying to make it "one more day".
    I walk along the pier in Manhattan and around Central Park, frequenting isolated parts of the park/peir where I can be alone to sob quietly.
    It pierces my soul when I see couples walking hand in hand and smiling, joking, laughing with each other, while I wander the earth alone. I get a pain in my heart at times when I see this that I can only describe as someone squeezing my heart from within and I have to stop in my tracks to get a grip.
    Im a healthy male in my early 20s and the depression is crippling me.
    Suicide is the only option i can see that will releave me of this "heartache".

    Ive lost everything, including my religion, which makes the idea of suicide easier to deal with.

    Im a modern day Job.:sad:
  2. Sunset

    Sunset Member

    It's good that you're getting out the the house. I've sometimes spent entire weekends at home, except for a quick trip to the supermarket, and it's not a good idea IMHO.

    I'm in my late 30's and surrounded by young people in their 20s, happy, lively, some cheek-to-cheek couples in the gooey stages of young romance. It hurts for sure, feeling the divide. I often resign myself to needing to feel sad, often fall asleep on my bed in the afternoon, staring into space, trying not to feel.

    Over the last couple of weeks I've been in the deepest abyss of my life. The way I came out of it was a decision to risk death - to go skydiving. Unfortunately there's no such club in the area, so I did a search for 'adventure sports' and came across a club that goes on some amazing hikes and treks. The photos were really inspiring. They even go on snow-shoe hikes. I've never done that before but I'd really love to.

    BTW their photo page is here:

    So stuck with not knowing what do do this weekend, and with no one to go with, I went to an indoor rock-climbing place that's part of a big outdoors store. I hadn't checked out sporting goods for a few years and I was really impressed. There's a lot of really nice stuff out there. That warmed me up a little more. Enough to see a little light.

    I also had a chat with a store assistant and a guy holding an exhibition of his nature photos. They were amazing photos. He was really friendly and I felt a connection again with the positive side of life. There really are good people out there. It felt good to make a fresh connection, even for a few minutes. It was uplifting.

    BTW some of his pics (not his best ones for some reason!):
    Their impact is much greater when printed as huge photos in a well-lit gallery!

    When I got back home (I live in kind of a dorm) I was much more open and social than I've been recently. I can say that I'm out the hole for now, and it FEELS GOOD to be alive again.

    What interests you that might help pull you out?

    If you let fate takes its course and go skydiving, let me know how you feel afterwards. I'm really interested to know the effect, and kind of frustrated I won't get the chance for a while.

    Hope that helps in some way.
  3. kirstyclive

    kirstyclive Guest

    commit suicide it fixes all... i am tonight... i just cant hack life no more
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