Part of my problem seems to be that I'm emotionally reserved. I'm just not an excitable person, and as a result I come across as someone who doesn't care enough. When someone tells me a story and expects me to laugh, for example, I just smile--sometimes politely. Guess that doesn't make them want to come to me the next time they have a funny story, among other things. :huh:
How do you connect with people?
- Thread starter 12years
- Start date
- Status
- Not open for further replies.
I`m the same. I think I come across as a really cold person. I do care (a lot). I push my feelings aside, but when they come, they come with a vengeance. This happens when I`m alone. I don`t do crying, and even when I was`nt so depressed, I don`t smile which is mainly due to self consciousness about bad teeth. I`ve seen a counsellor for quite a long time now at a rape crisis centre, and she`s never seen me cry. Once, in a crisis situation, I cried on the phone to her. I got so embarassed by that. I think it`s partly down to being very `in control`, and an inherant feeling that I don`t matter.
elleanne
elleanne
Hi 12years,
Dunno. How DO you connect with people? I've spent most of my life trying to learn how to do that, and end up feeling that everyone else who seems able to do it, just do it without even knowing they're doing it. Wish they'd tell me the secret.
Having said that, the only way you can find that out is if someone tells you - so I'm going to say what I would want from people to feel connected.
Hummm. You know I thought I was going to write a big long list and in reality there's just one single simple little thing - if someone is genuinely interested in me, that makes me feel connected.
That's rather surprised me, I think I'll go away now and think some more about it.
Tam
Dunno. How DO you connect with people? I've spent most of my life trying to learn how to do that, and end up feeling that everyone else who seems able to do it, just do it without even knowing they're doing it. Wish they'd tell me the secret.
Having said that, the only way you can find that out is if someone tells you - so I'm going to say what I would want from people to feel connected.
Hummm. You know I thought I was going to write a big long list and in reality there's just one single simple little thing - if someone is genuinely interested in me, that makes me feel connected.
That's rather surprised me, I think I'll go away now and think some more about it.
Tam
Hope you are finding the answers you need 12years.
For myself, it is strange. I have the craziest relationships with people for little to no reason. There is one guy who I only talk to when we are in class, and even outside of class, no recognition. I don't mind. Then there are a few people who i talk to them about pretty much 2 things, games, homework, and nothing else.
You find the craziest connections in the craziest of places. I'm not sure if this is helping, but connection is a pretty open word.
In the context you are speaking of though...I can agree that I play the nice polite guest with people I don't know. I guess its just part of how we just go through society, makin everything look nice. The only people I've really connected with have seen my darker side...so in that respect, you gotta give it to get it.
For myself, it is strange. I have the craziest relationships with people for little to no reason. There is one guy who I only talk to when we are in class, and even outside of class, no recognition. I don't mind. Then there are a few people who i talk to them about pretty much 2 things, games, homework, and nothing else.
You find the craziest connections in the craziest of places. I'm not sure if this is helping, but connection is a pretty open word.
In the context you are speaking of though...I can agree that I play the nice polite guest with people I don't know. I guess its just part of how we just go through society, makin everything look nice. The only people I've really connected with have seen my darker side...so in that respect, you gotta give it to get it.
Part of my problem seems to be that I'm emotionally reserved. I'm just not an excitable person, and as a result I come across as someone who doesn't care enough. When someone tells me a story and expects me to laugh, for example, I just smile--sometimes politely.
i think i am somewhat the same. huh.
- Status
- Not open for further replies.