I think I am very depressed, and have a lot of issues like self harm and abuse that I haven’t dealt with very well on my own, but I’ve always been too afraid to get help. I’ve been afraid, or I’ve felt like I don’t deserve help...I guess I’ve come up with different excuses at different points in time... Now I have a very good opportunity to ask for help, and I think I might need it more than ever after a surgery I just had. I could literally call a nurse in right now or ask to see my doctor and tell them all my issues and ask for help, but I can’t bring myself to. I can tell I’m going to be in a very bad place when I get home, but even that fear isn’t pushing me. I freeze up and reject the idea as soon as i start really considering it. I end up telling myself it’s all pointless anyway. But if I leave this place not having asked for help, I don't think I ever will. I dunno...just wondered if anyone else has struggled with this kind of thing...maybe someone has some advice.