How do you deal with somebody who goes from 0 to 100 rage in just one second?

[JCC988]

Anger wise that is. My sister in particular. Just a minute ago the family and I were watching college football. The offensive team was at the 1 yard line and the defensive team was playing terrible that time. I said that it was pretty much guaranteed that the offensive team would score. She said "not necessarily" and I commented how the defensive team was playing defense so terribly. She flipped going all "OH YEAH YOU JUST KNOW EVERYTHING! Talking about things you know nothing about!". I knew then it was time to come up to my room for the night.

I'm at a loss. My sister is like this all the time. The slightest provocation sets her off. I can't be around her without running that risk.

 

[dtc]

The advice I've taken to heart over this sort of thing is that 99% of the time, you or what you did aren't the reason the person went off, it's just the last thing, so if like what you had it totally out of proportion to what happened, I'd try asking them what's going on, what's really troubling them as it's pretty clear it's not really X, Y or Z, that was just the chance to let it out.

If it yields nothing, try to gently point out that the response seems to be a little bit out of proportion to the event, and if they maintain it's that they just leave them with it.

 

[Lisa the Goatgirl]

My dad would do this, i'll never forget him yelling at me when he was driving because we were at an intersection and he flipped, screaming at me that i "moved my head too fast". Turns out he had pretty severe depression. I would agree that you should very carefully ask her what's going on, because this kind of thing is usually a sign of intense pent-up stress that a person is not talking about. Has she always been like this or is it something that you've noticed happening recently?

 

[JCC988]

My dad would do this, i'll never forget him yelling at me when he was driving because we were at an intersection and he flipped, screaming at me that i "moved my head too fast". Turns out he had pretty severe depression. I would agree that you should very carefully ask her what's going on, because this kind of thing is usually a sign of intense pent-up stress that a person is not talking about. Has she always been like this or is it something that you've noticed happening recently?

Pretty much always. She goes off with the slightest problem she sees in someone and won't listen to reason. I'm no psychiatrist but I'm wondering if it's intermittent explosive disorder.

 

[Were all together]

Pretty much always. She goes off with the slightest problem she sees in someone and won't listen to reason. I'm no psychiatrist but I'm wondering if it's intermittent explosive disorder.

She really needs to see a therapist.

 

[VioletDawn]

Pretty much always. She goes off with the slightest problem she sees in someone and won't listen to reason. I'm no psychiatrist but I'm wondering if it's intermittent explosive disorder.

I wouldn't guess at a diagnosis to be honest. That's a never ending rabbit hole.

 

[Everyman]

I wouldn't guess at a diagnosis to be honest. That's a never ending rabbit hole.

Agreed. In cases like this, I try to focus on what I am going to do while having compassion for the other person. And, while I'm not very good at it, I try to remind myself that it's probably more difficult being a combative person than it is being around them.

 

[VioletDawn]

Just wanted to add that when I'm in stressful situations I can be pretty unpleasant to be around. When I'm around my mum, I can't help snapping at her all the time due to deep seated hatred of the woman, but I'm very polite around other people. I don't know if it's a similar situation for you @JCC988.

 

[Lara_C]

"How do you deal with somebody who goes from 0 to 100 rage in just one second?"
Personally, I would stay out of their way as much as possible, and be very careful not to react in kind. Have you tried talking to her about this before she blows to find out what's wrong?