How do you deal with this?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Dubstepper, Apr 17, 2012.

  1. Dubstepper

    Dubstepper Staff Alumni

    Ok.. might be a long post.

    So, I'm staying with a family, the mom (H) and the dad, (S) are both working now, so the kids (2 and 3. The 6 yearold is here after his grandparents drop him off) are left in my care from 9 til anywhere between 3 and 6. I have had little experience with kids before, so this is mostly new. I've learnt fast tho.. So, quick breakdown in case I mention it later, but they "hired" me to live here, babysit the kids while they work, and I would be provided (obviously) food, room, and they were SUPPOSED to be paying me cash also. I haven't seen any cash, save for the few dollars S gave me the first week I was here. Granted, S did try (i say try cause he gave me the wrong card when I went to the store) to get me some beers a week ago. So, money has been dwelling on my mind a lot.

    These kids are not well disciplined. They demand, and throw fits when they don't get what they want, or it's taken away. I know I'm not allowed to spank them, but I do when it's me and the little ones. It's needed, don't judge me on that. But the parents occationally give them spankings and the kids get all tantrum-y about that. It annoys me, because my upbringing was a lot more.. constructed?.. i think i can use that word. But H complains to the air (i don't know if it's directed at me, I frankly don't care, cause that was not why I was "hired") about how stuff isn't clean all the time. I *do* clean, just I don't spend every minute chasing the children and picking up. They are old enough to clean messes.. Hell, the 2 year old DOES IT! The three year old acts like he's not required to do anything. The 6 year old.. ask him to do ANYTHING that isn't fun, and he tries to run off, or throws a fit.
    That's it for this... this is just one thing that's been aggravating me.

    The other thing is.. it's two-part. So I had to break up with my gf, and it was, originally, cause I thought she had been intentionally ignoring me. I tried to get her to talk to me, and she announced she had to go to the store.. never mentioned she would be back soon, or anything. So, I have to take that as she's avoiding chatting with me, save for the little bit of a chat we DID have. I sent her a message, letting her know that I needed more, and maybe we rushed the relationship a bit. After finding out that she's been under a LOT of stress that i didn't know about, obviously, i felt like shit. But.. granted, wouldn't you tell your S.O. if you were having rough patches instead of dealing with it on your own? I mean, I dunno.. maybe im over thinking it, but i feel like i was left out of stuff that was important. I would have been supportive, and tried to do what I could to ease it all... After having told her that we shouldn't be together, i get (well deserved, i admit) bitched at for everything. then threatened that if she decided to ... i would be the one to blame. After losing someone close already, that crushed me more than i can express in words.
    And, my ex-fiancee... as much as i know it won't happen, she is really determined now to be in close touch with me all of a sudden and wants to get back together. We talked recently, because her mom wants me to find out if she has BiPolar, you know. see how she acts and if her mood shifts greatly. And so far.. yeah. Quite a bit.
    But yeah.. sorry for the long post, but I needed to get this out. It's hard missing a close friend, knowing that I've screwed up something important, dealing with a broken promise from someone I'm helping, and looking out for someone I don't really have a lot of value for.
    I had failed and went back to SH recently too.. Relapsed just a bit, but enough for me to be a little down. So, 2 years, not down the drain, but gonna be hard to start back over. I'm trying to keep it at bay tho. I'm pouring that energy into my music, and really getting into it. I've got a lot of potential, i realize.

    Thanks for listening to my all-over-the-place rant.
  2. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    :hug: to you Mikel!

    Whatever happened to you ex-fiancee? What happened with you two...? Sorry, I don't mean to pry. Slap me in the back of the head if needed.

    Thank You... the Management