I hate feeling like this, and I should be happy for them, but I'm not, because they keep throwing me under the rug and telling me I'm not pretty on the inside
I don't think they're very good friends if they do this.
I've let go of a lot of friendships because they don't make me feel good about myself. Because they don't give me strength to overcome my depressions and problems. I honestly have 4 close guys friends who've stuck with me through the good times and the bad. They may be all I have but they're always there and they love me despite everything.
But I think that the environment you are in is not conducive for your recovery. Your friends should be there to lift you up when you're down. (And you should likewise do the same for your friends.) Not pull you down more. I don't know how outgoing you are (or aren't). But, thinking about what's best for you, I think you need a change of friends. Easier said than done, I know.... :sad:
Just my two cents.
I hope things work out. And remember: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL UNDERNEATH ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING.
PM or YM me if you need to talk.