How do you do it?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Jaden, Dec 4, 2014.

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  1. Jaden

    Jaden Member

    The primary fuel for my suicidal tendencies is I just don't see the point in doing anything. Why, exactly, am I here? So I can work for 50 years, day in and day out, in a job I hate, to get money to pay the bills so I can continue to enjoy the privilege of working at a job I hate, to make more money, to....? To what end? So I can then retire and wait to die? What is the point?

    I look around me every day and see people perfectly content in their jobs and their lives, even when they're alone. I know some of them are just putting on a ruse, but not all of them. I don't understand how they can do it without looking in the mirror every day and asking themselves what it's all about, and having the realization of nothingness cripple them, as it has me.

    The only satisfaction I've ever gotten out of life is having somebody to share it with, and I haven't had that in a long time. All I've had is myself, my books, and my music, and it's just not enough to justify my continual existence. I feel like I'm just wasting time, waiting to die. I'd welcome death as an end to this eternal existential nightmare. So, does anybody have a new perspective? What gives you fulfillment? We're all here still. The only reason I still am is out of cowardice and habit. What keeps you here? What gives you purpose?
  2. shadowonthewall

    shadowonthewall Well-Known Member

    The existential angst in your post outlines the r'aison d'etre for all religion. Human life is a random accident, with no fundamental meaning or purpose. So human beings have invented Gods in order to give meaning to our lives and mollify our fears of our own mortality. People cannot stand the notion of being an insignificant and ephemeral speck of dust in the wind, so they invent supernatural deities who created the universe solely with their species' interests in mind and who watches lovingly over them throughout all of their mundane travails.

    Most people probably just don't spend a great deal of time thinking 'what is the point'. If you have something that makes your life feel joyful and worthwhile, then that is sufficient reason to go on. As long as you're happy, there doesn't need to be a reason. For those of us who cannot find that inherent fulfillment, we either just muddle on, desperately cling on to religion or kill ourselves.

    Personally, what is ostensibly keeping me here is my lack of courage and the knowledge that if I attempt suicide, fail and permanently disable myself, then I will be stuck in an even worse nightmare than I found myself in before and without any hope of a way out for a very, very long time.
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