when you know you'll feel the same way for months, when you wake up every day feeling worse. Go to sleep at night holding back tears because you know if you start you wont stop. when you know you wont see any friends for weeks and weeks when you know that help is there but you just dont have the drive to get it alone. When you want help, you really want help, but you're afraid of leaving the house and afraid of public transport. When you had a taste of such a great life, with everything you ever wanted, big plans for the future, everything. Then it's ripped out of you just like that and you have to go back to the life you had before. Where you just sit in all day, waiting for someone to talk to you, waiting for someone to invite you somewhere. Playing online games day in day out. Being alone........... How do you get through it? if you have to be alone against your will, how do you get through these times? how do you jusitfy living if all you have is this? I know I have family, and I do have friends, but my friends arent local at all and I'm distant from my family, only my dad knows that I attempted twice and I find it hard to talk to him. My mum died when I was 9 so I dont really have a constant female presence to run to. Just........How?