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How do YOU explain it?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by storm, Oct 4, 2015.

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  1. storm

    storm Well-Known Member

    I've been thinking a lot lately on how to explain the deep pain of feeling suicidal to someone who has never felt it in their life.

    So I'm asking you guys, if you had a friend that you wanted to confide in about your suicidal feelings but they have never felt that way before, how would you explain it to them?
  2. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Really bad pain in my stomach/chest area as if I am doing or thinking about doing something terribly wrong. Maybe it is butterflies or maybe it is adrenaline, but it hurts a lot and feels heavy. That's physical for me. Mentally, I'm not really sure, I think my mind just blanks out at that point and focuses on suicidal ideation. How I feel - I normally feel pretty good (given the circumstances), I find things incredibly funny and completely unimportant and irrelevant (maybe my mind telling me that nothing matters and it's time to go).

    How would I explain it in short? A point in your life where you don't care whether you live or die. A place where things can't get any worse and all hope is lost. For me, when I reach that point, I don't believe there is a reason to live anymore.
  3. sadcat

    sadcat Well-Known Member

    Just say it - "you feel suicidal. "
    You can also ask for help - just say , "please help me ".

    before you spend so much effort killing yourself - why not spend some energy making your life better .
    go out and walk a little. look at the ski and smell the air . look around and think of all the beauty surrounding you.
    and just smile. look at all that you have in this world to enjoy.

    hugs , sadcat
  4. storm

    storm Well-Known Member

    Yeah its not that simple though. I want them to understand what EXACTLY i'm feeling. "suicidal" is too broad.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I would approach the person carefully maybe say ''I am feeling under the weather'' or just pain ''down''. It is a tough one and I hope you are able to bring about the subject of depression, please let us know how you get on if you do go ahead with it. I hope they will be understanding!
  6. Nitrosum

    Nitrosum Member

    It's tuff to explain because I find others never really know how you feel unless they experienced it.

    When I first experienced the feelings of suicide, I plain out told a friend that I needed to talk to them. That I feel like I'm living in a dark world with no way out, that I needed help.
  7. storm

    storm Well-Known Member

    Thank you Petal and Nitrosum :) I guess I'll just try to reach out. I'm just nervous about being judged or turned away.
  8. Nitrosum

    Nitrosum Member

    If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. I experienced it and am currently living it. One should not turn away or judge you. It's not easy telling someone these kinds of things. Hang in there. You can do it :)
  9. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    For me It feels like a heavy weight bearing down all over, it is like a very heavy blanket, I find it is hard to breathe, it is hard talking or to say anything, I am not aware of stuff going on around me, it is like I am in my own little world, I don't remember hearing any noise or any feeling other then a closeness of everything! it is suffocating it is also like a feeling of loss, helplessness and hopelessness, I have never talked about it before, I don't know what anyone else has felt or feels
    I just finished writing this, I am crying it felt like I was going through it again, I don't ever want to do that again!
  10. Frozen

    Frozen New Member

    I assume this might be different depending on why you want to do it. Hows this:

    Try to imagine yourself in a small empty room with no doors or windows just 4 walls, a ceiling and a floor. You feel like there is no way out. You feel trapped.
  11. storm

    storm Well-Known Member

    You're all describing different parts of what it feels like for me. I'm so sorry you all have to feel it too. Hang in there
  12. lborland57

    lborland57 New Member

    To me I had to get my close friends to understand depression before I could reveal the suicidal thinking that haunts me almost everyday. Once they truly understood the depression then I could move on to the suicidal stuff.

    Below is some of the ways I've dealt with close friends:

    First, I explain depression to them and I have asked my friends if they've ever had the blues. They inevitably will say yes. I say multiply that by 1000 and that's depression. It's a sticky situation telling someone that you are having suicidal feelings or thoughts. At first, they'll want know if you have to go into the hospital or does your doctor know how you're feeling. I, first, told my best friend about my suicidal thoughts/feelings and it got to be too much for her so I gave her a weather report. Sunny skies was feeling good. Raining was having a bad day. Tornado - told her I was having suicidal thoughts. People don't understand chronic suicidal thinking.

    I hope this helps in some way. It's hard when you can't share the pain with a close friend.
  13. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    When I am feeling mildly depressed, I don't feel motivated to do much at all. I am bored, I don't want to get out of bed, I don't want to do anything. If I am lucky, I can find something to distract my mind for a while, or something that will make me smile and snap out of it for a bit.

    When I am at my worst, then all I can think about is dying. I can't stop crying, I can only see bad in the world, and everything is dark. It's a pain so deep it radiates throughout my body and I wonder how I can get through it. Luckily I do, but I often worry that I won't, and I may do something drastic and rash.

    It varies for each person, but that is how it feels for me. It is hard to find the right words to convey to someone what depression is like if they have never experienced it firsthand. I can usually just express it in metaphors or tell them just how desperate it feels.
  14. Cariad_Bach

    Cariad_Bach Staff Alumni

    Tough one. I confided in my best friend, who I knew had been through some really difficult stuff and so I presumed she would understand. But it turned out she has never felt like me, and although she didn't turn away or judge me she was freaked out. Then my SO, who is life's optimist and very laid back was surprisingly understanding when I finally told him, and he admitted he had had similar feelings in the past. You can never tell how people will react. But, if you love them and they you, then trust them to care and support you as best they can, and just as you don't want to be judged for your feelings, try not to judge them for their reaction.​
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