:hug: to you for even making the effort. you felt bad cos it took a lot for you to eventually act on the decision, the fact you did is a success, the only unfortunate thing was him not being there, but you didnt know that so you didnt fail you succeeded in your mission, but the outcome wasnt what you had hoped, so dont beat yourself up over it. you expected to get some sort of diagnosis and it was being unable to get this that made you feel the way you did, just keep trying.
i can take hours just to convince myself to leave the house, i cant leave before 1100 as that has proven to be the optimum time and most times i am still in bed at 1030 still trying to talk myself into getting up and going for walk. its the same with medical appts...lot of effort to get there. psych appts are the worst cos they always at 0930 so that takes more effort. i am sure many here can tell you the same thing, so dont feel bad, you are not weak.
low self esteem or confidence, lack of motivation, fear of rejection or being laughed at or thought stupid can all stop us reaching out but you have to weigh that up against not reaching out, maybe it will make you feel worse and harder to help, get control now...after all, 99% of these peeps you will never see again once you leave college so to hell with them, put yourself first, you are worth it. :hug:
