The title says it all... and this is hurting me like hell. She had been my first and only best friend for 4 years, but we have known each other for around 7 years (I'm 21 and she's 18 now) and we had been through a lot of things together, some of the scariest moments of our lives, but we managed to pull each other through even though there is literally an ocean between us. It all started over year ago, but it still hurts me now because we still talk, but not as frequently. Our friendship doesn't feel the same any more, the sense of openness is gone, I don't feel like I'm talking to the same person, and I don't even feel like myself when I talk to her. At times the mood between us feels fake. We went from talking for hours every day to barely talking once a week when she met a guy online, I found it harder and harder to talk to her, I felt like I was fighting to keep the conversation going and free flowing like it used to because she was so sucked in by this guy, he later became her boyfriend and she met him a couple of times in real life. They both have since split up. The only times she really spoke to me during this time was when they argued and she wanted my help. I just faded away. Backed away and waited for her to come to me, and she never did unless she was really upset because of something he did/said. I couldn't let myself struggle and fight for the friendship that I felt like she no longer really cared about as much as I did, about the simple things in our friendship, nothing to do with guys. She might say the same of me because I practically ran the other way when I felt like our friendship was dwindling. But I think I was/am trying to protect myself, she's the only one I've ever been able to truly open up to and it worked both ways. There was even a period of about 4 months where we didn't talk at all, a while later when she decided to contact me about a month after my birthday I just broke down to her and told her how I felt and why I ran away, but it didn't change much, I got the impression she wanted to pretend none of it happened. What really hurts me now is that she has a new best friend... she's moved on from our friendship, I believe in ways it's largely my own fault, but I haven't moved on from my friendship with her. She still feels like the sister I never had and I really care about her. It hurts to see her 'flaunt' it in front of me, talking about her "bff" to other friends, getting all excited about getting gifts from her because she's away with family in another country... it's just little things that we shared together, now she's doing it with someone else. I really, really, really badly want to move on from this feeling like she apparently has. I'm going to college September and I hope to meet new people, but I don't even think that'll go so well because I'm painfully shy and lack confidence within myself... all this is happening while I see her go and live her life and everything seems to fall into place with ease while I'm stuck in a rut wishing for the simple things in life. We're just back to being plain old friends, even some days it barely feels like it and we're more like acquaintances with history. I feel like I'll never have a friendship like this one again and it's killing me. It doesn't help that I hardly have any friends as it is because I don't have the courage to be social. I don't know what to do to get over it. I have a painful lump in my throat right now from trying to hold back the tears. You'd think after a year it wouldn't still hurt as much as the moment things started to falter, but it does. Time isn't healing. I just miss having that one person you could share everything with and they shared everything back. Is there anything I can do... because I don't want to carry around this hurt and emptiness forever.