how do you go from dysfunctional to functional?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by DarkLordVader, Dec 20, 2013.

  1. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    has anyone ever been so dysfunctional throughout their whole life that changing for that person seems strange or icky? every time i have tried to change for the better it makes me feel weird and out of place so YES i go back to what is comfortable, why? what is so wrong with my stupid brain that i cant figure it out?
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i do the same get feeling ok on meds then stop them why why does our brain fight us getting better or perhaps we feel we do not deserve peace healing happiness i don't know
     
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Yeah, it's hard for me to change because I don't think I'm a good person, and I know I don't deserve a better life. I know change can be scary, and it can be difficult, but I hope that things will start to get better for you.
     
  4. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    especially around this time of year, since my kids mother passed due to suicide and losing my kids i havent been sober on xmas for 3 years straight. this will be 4 years, i just cant bare it anymore....
     
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    It is hardest this time of year, because I also think of the people I've lost and how much I miss them. I know it will be tough, but we'll be here to help get you through the rough times.
     
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I know you're going through a lot, and this time of year is really tough on you. Just want you to know I care and am here if you need anything.
     
  7. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    thank you for the support, i am so glad i found this place... a good place to vent my pain and good people to keep me going strong... i am grateful and appreciative as well... :)
     
  8. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Darkness, your feelings are so normal. I feel the same way. Dealt with depression, anxiety, and self-loathing most of my life. I want things to be different, but am terrified of it. I asked a psychologist friend of mine about it once. He said that is normal. We may be miserable, but we are used to being miserable. So we are comfortable with it. Change is hard for anyone. I don't know the answer. Just maybe try and make one very small change at a time.

    But please, keep this Christmas sober too. You have accomplished so much by not drinking for 3 years. Don't give that up. Add another year to your positive record,
     
  9. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    you must have misunderstood me or if i incorrectly said it, i have drank every xmas for the last 3 years and this year wont be any different. plus with this bullshit ice storm ruining my life on top of all the fucken shit, i am going bats... i swear to whoever is all evil that if we lose power i will go off.... i am not feezing to death here all alone because some scumbag local government wont fix things to prevent power loss. this is the 3rd fucken ice storm and these asswipes who have everything wont suffer, us poor people will. no wonder i am all fucked up, i live in a uncaring society that wants to see us poor die off, one by one... well they might get their wish with me....
     
  10. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hoping you don't lose power!!! :hug: I remember last year when we got hit with that superstorm, that's what I was most afraid of. My power didn't go out, but lots of other people weren't so lucky, and I can't imagine how awful that must have been.
     
  11. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Sorry I misunderstood Darkness. But I hope you can avoid drinking this year. And that you don't lose power. Been there and done that. It's rough.
     
  12. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    go outside to clean my truck off that is caked in ice and guess what, my windshield is cracked and my insurance company doesnt cover ice damage... lovely isnt it? one god damn thing after another with me... so see, i wonder why i bother being sober, why i bother taking another worthless fucking breath...
     
  13. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    If you have glass coverage then do not tell them it was ice that cracked it- actually you are not a forensic scientist so do not take that probably correct guess- "somebody must have broke windshield" - glass coverage doesn't typically have a deductible so on Monday call and say my windshield broke - send somebody to replace it.. If you do not have glass coverage then it does not matter what caused it , they will not pay.