How do you hang on to something when you have nothing left?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Enveleyna, Sep 29, 2014.

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  1. Enveleyna

    Enveleyna New Member

    I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alone. How can I walk on eggshells around other people’s feelings when I can’t even deal with my own? I’ve tried everything. Well, maybe not everything, but damn well close. I can’t even get through a day without a form of numbing. I cut until I feel I can breathe again, drown my emotions with a bottle, or take so many pills I forget my own name.

    I’d love to say that I don’t want to die, but I really do. It’s the only thought that makes me feel even remotely better. There’s a certain type of solace that accompanies the thought of <mod edit - methods>. I want it to remain a thought, and never become a reality, but how do you hang onto something when you have nothing left? This is partially, if not entirely my own fault. I’m not looking to pit blame onto someone else.

    I’m my own hostage, and I just want to be free.

    Someone, please, help me before I do something I can’t take back.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 29, 2014
  2. There are people who care about you. I Cared about you and your safety. I understand there is nothing good in everyday but there is always something good in everyday which you need to find gradually. When you are feeling sad, depressed and stuck in the dark hole, you need to try to put in effort to take baby steps to walk out of it. You cannot do this alone but you can seek professional help to support you and encourage yourself to take the first step out if the dark depressing hole. If your family is not supporting you, try look for a friend who genuinely cares. There will be someone who cared about you. Try to learn how to ignore the bunch of jackasses who contribute sadness and miserable things in your life. Are you on any medications? Please seek help and give yourself the chance to heal. No pain will last as long as it will. :hug:
    You take care and stay safe and I hoped to hear from you again. :hug: a million hugs to you :hug:
     
  3. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. You need to STOP DRINKING AND TAKING PILLS. The important thing is you STAY ALIVE. The recovery process is hard but one day at a time. Need to focus and stop over-thinking as that causes greater turmoil and makes you your own prisoner. Speak to a specialist if need to, as live is important. You are among people who understand what you are going through and DO NOT THINK YOU ARE ALONE. The important thing to do is get a routine and keep focused. You can PM anytime if you need help and need to talk in private. You very important and please take this virtual hand as support in your current dark moment. Please keep posting for support and care from this forum.
     
  4. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry you are in such a dark place. Things can change, but in order to change there has to be things you do differently. As you said , the cycle of intentionally numbing yourself with alcohol and drugs then cutting do you can feel needs to be broken and the only place to start on then is stop the intentional numbing. Get help with that and many other things will become easier and make more sense but so long as your method of control is to give up all control then it will be a very difficult path.
     
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