How do you help someone in denial?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by La La Lies, Sep 3, 2006.

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  1. La La Lies

    La La Lies Member

    this is about a friend of mine. i am running out of ways to be there for him. all he does is look at the negatives in life, and when he can't handle things...he does coke. he's been lying about it and totally denies the fact that he is doing it. i have proof, and have confronted him several times. i told him if he wants to live in denial then i will just ignore the fact that he is slowly killing himself. i know he's doing it. he came over tonight and his hands were shaking, he was pale and wide eyed, and he has been up all night. he rarely stays up all night, and when he usually does it's because of this. i want so much to be there for him but how do you help someone in denial? i can't tell if he really wants help or if he just wants to be left alone.
  2. Manically Depressed

    Manically Depressed Active Member

    Definatley a delicate situation. It will probably all depend on how you approach him and what you say to him if he will admit it or not. Try to be as sympathetic as you can,that's what'll bring him to allow you to help. I wish you luck and hope it works out for you and your friend.
  3. La La Lies

    La La Lies Member

    thank u =]
  4. Manically Depressed

    Manically Depressed Active Member

    No problem. Anytime. :wink:
  5. Tigerstripe

    Tigerstripe Guest

    It is the age old problem how can you help someone who don't want help. I know someone who gave up Crack after his best friend said "You wanna kill you self fine but i love you like a fucking brother and i don't want to bury another brother" and it did the trick. Now that was a different situation but let you friend now you love him but you don't want to ever have to speak about them in the Past tense is what i think i'm getting at
  6. La La Lies

    La La Lies Member

    i'll try that tigerstripe...thank u =]
  7. Always Alone

    Always Alone Guest

    I can't really offer any advice, but I will say this, do whatever it takes to get your friend off it.

    This time last year I confronted a friend who was doing canibus, he didnt stop, 3 months ago he was suspended from school for doing Cocaine, LSD, and Heroin, inside of school. 2 others were expelled for selling the stuff. I felt like I'd totally failed him

    I don't want that to happen to you, let him know how much you care for him, and always be there for him. Good luck
  8. Bette

    Bette Guest

    Looks like I am late on this post, but in case La La comes back this may help.

    Lying. Addicts lie. They lie constantly. They'll look you in the face and make up the most wacky story why they need you to lend them $10.00. They will lie they are high. They'll lie they didn't steal your Ipod or Laptop or anything that wasn't nailed down.

    The tricky part is you knew this person as himself. prior to him using.

    NOBODY trying to help an addict has let them down. NOBODY. They will not stop using until they want to stop using. Perhaps when he says he wants help he truly does, but that drug calls you day and night. You give in, and POOF goes the needed help.

    Trust your instincts. We have a sixth sense for a reason. Most importantly when in doubt. WATCH WHAT THEY DO!!!!!! NOT WHAT THEY SAY!!!!!!!!!
    Their actions will tell you. An addicts lips move and they don't even know what they are saying half the time. I was that person unfortunately. I was Blessed I had alot of people who loved me from childhood on. I had all my old friends as well as new ones. If not for all them trying to help me when I WANTED IT I know I would not be here right now.

    You're a good friend. WATCH HIS ACTIONS.
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