OK, I don't know if this is the right place to write about this, but what the heck, the worst that could happen is I'll get banned.. I'm sure I'm not the only one with these types of issues, so maybe someone can provide some insight, anything to help me feel a little more sane. I feel like something has short-circuited in my brain a few months ago and I am spiralling down a path to utter insanity. I don't know why, but I feel totally out of touch with reality. I don't know what is real anymore, I don't know what life is or what the point of living is. From an outsider's point of view, I have nothing to complain about; I believe that I have everything I could ask for in a material sense and I feel completely healthy in a physical sense. However, mentally, I am just totally losing it. And if I don't have my sanity, then I don't have anything. In the past I used to occasionally contemplate the meaning of life and what may happen after one dies and these types of thoughts always scared the crap out of me and put me in a really dark place. Well, now I'm constantly feeling that way. I keep obsessing over how fleeting everything is, how the present is always changing... I am so worried and scared all the time, that I find it impossible to just live in the moment anymore and I feel that life is passing me by. And what scares me the most is death. I know it's inevitable and that it happens to everyone, but I really wish I knew what it feels like to be dead. I cannot grasp the concept of non-existence and yet I can't stop trying to comprehend it. I find myself fantasizing about being in a car accident or slashing my wrists and trying to imagine what it would feel like to stop existing, just so I can feel at peace, but the more I think about it, the more it depresses and scares me. I realize that no one has a definitive answer to the question "What is the meaning of life?", but how do other people go on living without being bothered by the idea that one day they will be dead and nothing they did in life will matter? I gave birth to a baby boy not too long ago and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. At the same time, having a child has driven me even more insane. I keep wondering where he came from. I mean, I know about the physical aspect of where babies come from, but where did his soul, his personality come from? Where was he before he was conceived? Where/what was I before I was conceived? I just wish I could go back to being blissfully ignorant, not thinking or worrying about this stuff, but it's all I can think about. I feel like I am in the Matrix and I've just found out that life is a hoax, except that nobody's telling me what is actually real. Is there some sort of pill or something that can put me back to "normal"? How can I cope with these types of thoughts? I feel like crying all the time... Thanks for reading. Feel free to delete my post if it is inappropriate.