How do you make people understand???

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by itmahanh, Feb 7, 2010.

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  1. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I survived another attempt. Some people think "great, she got that out of her system and she'll move on." But I cant. The thoughts and urges are just as strong as they ever were. And I was soooo close to what I've been aching so long for. But once again teased with it. Torn away from me by some EMS people and a doc at the hospital. If you have never been there you cant understand.

    People get put off with me when they keep giving me "positive" words of wisdom and support. But I'm stuck in the negative. And anything you give me positive I will be able to rationalize back to my negative dark hole I'm in. So they get frustrated thinking I dont want or appreciate the support they offer. Eventually they stop offering and turn away cuz in their eyes it isnt worth the effort anymore.

    People seem to think I choose to be where I am. I dont want to be here. And I try and try to get out. Sometimes for a few seconds I can see a hint of something more "normal". But it fades too quickly to really help me.

    All the years of mental health counselling, visits with the pdoc and my gp, the support groups. All of it seems to only come full circle each and every time. I'm back once again with the same problems and they all offer the same answers. All things that didnt work or I wouldnt be back with them. So the professionals start to give up too.

    Everyone expecting me to be able to just run full shit into each new problem and just get over it or fix it all by myself. But I cant. They cant understand how emotionally and physically I'm drained. To the point that I choose death over trying to fight it all anymore.

    What do you say to the people that have been there and made it through? And because they have they think you should be able to as well. And because you cant they leave too because they think you really arent trying or are just doing all this for attention.

    How do you make those that think you're lying or being over dramatic understand how wrong they are. How do you express what you are really feeling if they only doubt every word and action?

    And when I try to explain, I feel like I'm screaming at the top of my lungs into the rumblings of a freight train running down the track. People see me trying to say things but just cant hear me.

    So how do you get people to understand? Family, friends, professionals? How do you get them to understand something that has taken over your life and you dont even understand it?

    Do you keep trying to make them understand or do you just turn away on them like they keep doing to you?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 7, 2010
  2. yorkie bar

    yorkie bar Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, I don 't have any answers or any words of wisdom for you, but at least you're not alone in how you are feeling

    *hug* yorkie
     
  3. Me,I

    Me,I Guest

    "At first time" I tried to get them understand but I saw it is not going to work. "On second time" I do not care about understanding, I just demand what I need to cope at least some point.
     
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Sis,
    Why don't you write down your thoughts with pen and paper.. When you see your family let them read it.. Maybe this will help them to better understand the pain you are in..
    You do have a strong will because you have battled this for so long and you come out ahead each time..I wish I could yank you out of the darkness because I know personally how it feels to be there..I will always stand beside you and hold your hand..So lean on me..
    I don't want to loose you.. You are part of my life.. I'm only on line in the mornings but if you need me email me because I have that pulled up all day and we can make arrangements to talk via PM when it's more conveniant for you..I'm always with you so don't be afraid..Love You, Bro
     
  5. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    I understand, Carla. I have inexhaustible torment and anxiety in my heart from vicious and sadistic physical abuse, deeply scarring, trust erasing emotional abuse and to a lesser extent sexual abuse. I have a bad case of OCD that has taken so much from me (ESPECIALLY my bicycling) and painted my daily existence into a corner. Depression is always cycling from low grade to full blown acute. My depression is under better control from daily running but the running is hard and most of the time I hate it. I miss my bicycling.

    I chronicled my own problems to I hope help several members reading this know that as pain filled your days are now and God forbid continue to be you can fight it all quietly, persistently and unheralded. It is this very brave fight we all are in that gives, at least for me, a level of self regard I don't believe I would ever have achieved raised in a reasonably normal environment and with a better hand psychiatrically dealt me from birth. The challenges SF members are fighting give us compassionate and empathetic qualities which make our lives more than redeeming and worthwhile. This is my honest belief and not some glitzy, redundant Dr. Phil rhetoric.

    As for getting "normal" people to understand, most never will. It is sad but it is the rare exception for family or friends to understand. Carla, I am still close to family and friends who will absolutely never understand my revolving door of emotional stability. I just print articles by objective professionals in psychiatry from the web on ODC, generalized anxiety disorder and major depression in the hope it will give them some understanding.

    Big hugz :arms: Denis
     
  6. SelfMadePrison

    SelfMadePrison Banned Member

    I have come to the conclusion that its really not about them understanding or not.. its that when we are continuously tormented regardless of how anyone approaches it threatens them like a drowning person... when you jump in the water to save someone from drowning and they are panicking that can drowned both the helper and the victim, making them both into victims... people retreat because they end up starting to drowned, some people just completely leave and let you drowned and others will essentially knock you out to get you through the crisis.

    I hope that makes sense.
     
  7. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    some people dont' want to understand and aren't interested. i cut those people out of my life or if i do come in contact with MH workers, i have very low expectations of them. i'm doing this at the moment with certain family members, and the future looks great.
     
  8. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    even here in sf. there are people who said to other members that are in depress/suicidal situation will tell that you are just acting. when i learned that, i try to comfrot myself and not looking understanding to anyone.
     
  9. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Sometimes I wonder myself if I'm acting.
     
  10. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    As far as getting people to understand several questions and ideas came to mind when reading your thread.
    1)
    Family: Family never seems to understand fully, one look at the boards here and it is plain to see they often have the hardest time.
    Friends: Do you mean SF friends or those that do not suffer from depression and such? Again one look at the boards on any given day it is clear that those friends we have that don't battle depression/mental illness have great difficulty accepting and understanding what we go through.
    Professionals: If the first one does not understand, find another. If the second one does not understand, find another. If the third one does not understand, find another. If the fourth one does not understand it is time to take a look at YOURSELF and see if you are not holding back and/or sending mixed messages about what you are going through and feeling. Honestly these are trained individuals that have dedicated their lives to helping and understanding. If the common denominator is you in every situation then you need to look at yourself. Sorry if that pisses you off but you have said this over and over and I just can't believe something else is not going on. My therapist told me he could not help me, why? Because I told him if x happened then I was gonna kill myself. It was me that hindered therapy not him. I would not have been fair for me to then turn around and say to others "Professionals have given up on me, they don't understand me and they say I may as well kill myself now". No it would not be accurate.

    This all leads to what other posters have said too...

    Why is it so important that they understand?
    Is their understanding necessary for you to get well?

    2) You yourself state you don't understand it so Carla how can you explain something you admit you don't have a handle on? This comment is gonna piss you off but have you considered maybe they do understand you and you don't understand your situation/yourself? Remember too that alcohol confuses all of this- it is a depressant, it clouds your thinking and it will tend to have people not take you seriously as they see blantant behavior not at all conducive to getting well!

    3) Carla the above considered who exactly is turning on you as I see nothing but an outpouring of those that want to help you and offer you support. Hell you even stated the police were monitoring your posts as they were concerned about you.

    Maybe this was all a vent and I am taking it too seriously but I am trying to help and understand. I for one would be helped in understanding you if you could give specific examples. At your last attempt a member called the police-example of someone understanding and reaching out. The police came and took you-they actively helped you. The people at the hospital took care of your physical needs and I am assuming they called your therapist who came down or saw you shortly after. And I assume your pdoc was concerned about this attempt too. I bet they all understood how much pain you were in. If they did not understand fully remember it is hard for them to know who was talking-Carla the person in pain or Carla who was drunk. YOu can't blame them if they are confused a bit ya know.

    Help me to understand and tell me what I can do for you. The more specific you are the more I likely I will be able to respond in the manner you wish and am needing. I will got to great lengths to help you Carla if you but say what it is you are not getting and what it is you need.

    Hope I did not make you mad but I am trying to do what you need, and just need some direction from you.

    Hugs Bambi
     
  11. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Now that I've finished this I see it's incredibly long. Sorry.

    I apologize for starting this thread. I did it shortly after seeing my gp as the doc from the hospital had suggested. I was feeling very lost and confused as his response after all I told him and asking for even one solution to all I had talked about was "I wish you luck." I was honest, open , just like I have been all along with all the professinals, family and friends. I asked for help. Something so foreign for me because I truly feel I dont deserve it. I always worry about taking away from someone else that could benefit much more than me. Another issue of mine that I've spent years working on. Self esteem and self worth. But seems too many things keep happening that I cant seem to build either one of them anymore.

    I will be brutally honest. Since I have been home from the hospital I have only spoken to my gp. For such short few seconds a day I feel the urge to fight for me. But then all the negative me floods in and says no. And gives me very strong reasons as to why I dont need to seek out help. Yes all negative and full of shit. I KNOW that. But it doesnt help. My mental health issues take over. My disease takes over. And I guess that's where I get stuck. All the professionals I see, the very ones that diagnosed me and know all too well what my disease does to a person, never follow through. And I'm tired of reaching out when I do and having nothing in return. I left the hospital on the 21st no better or worse. Just wanting to attempt again. I have fought those urges so hard. But I find no reason to continue so back to the planning and date picking again. A circle or cycle you might say. I see the warning signs. I try to find help. But then the thoughts take over and the negative is much easier to deal with than the positive. Positive means working and more than likely (if they were odds I'd have to say 99% chance of failure again) gaining no new ground.

    I live in a small rural setting (and I mean small, the nearest town is about 150 people). I am on disablilty because of my mental health issues and other health reasons. My income consists of disablity (because of my mental health issues my pdoc has deemed me incapable of employment) and social assistance for my youngest and myself to survive off. Anyone that is currently receiving such benefits knows you barely survive on what they offer. I rely on the medical services that are offered by the government free of charge. So I have seen all the professionals that are available to me here. I can not afford the gas and fees to see others professionals in the city. I also suffer from social phobias/anxiety disorders that are literally physically disabling to me when confronted with public or new situations. I have tried. It takes everything I have to go to the major hospital for any appointments regarding my cancer. To make it to a say a 1pm appointment I start leaving not getting ready but actuall starting the vehicle and leaving my home about 10am. It's only about an hour drive there so the rest of the time is spent pulling over on the hiway trying to talk myself into continuing on. When I get there I phone the receptionist and ask her to call me back when there is about 5 minutes left til I get in to see the doc. Not sit in the waiting area but actually going in to see her. I cant be there with all those other people be it one or two or twelve. The number doesnt make a difference. I cant handle being around people. When I do sit in an office my legs shake so uncontrollably that I cant read a magazine or hold a cup of coffee. So it adds to the anxiety cuz I'm wondering what others must be thinking. And yes they are seeing me, you cant help but notice a person that is not shaking but quaking in a chair in a little area.

    I know too well what my problems are and what help is available. I have been doing this for about 10 years now. And some things do help for a while. Others not at all. But I do try everything that is offered. I'm just at a point where I have no fight left and I guess I'm holding on to a stupid idea that even one professional should realize how far I've slipped and would follow up because I dont have the desire, will or energy to do it for myself anymore.

    I am well aware that people just get tired of seeing me and hearing all the negative about me. But if there were positive things to dwell on damn it I would!!!! I do not want to be where I find myself. I DONT!!!!!!!!

    An example. I got the first cheque for the child support that I fought 3 years and thousand of dollars I didnt have for a lawyer to get, from my youngest son's Dad. This man owes me about $18,000 now in arrears according to the final order decided upon by the judge in a trial in 09 that the dad couldnt even bother to attend. The first cheque came Friday. It was supposed to start coming May of 09. It was for $10.88. Not the $330 that the courts determined he pay monthly. So picked myself up and said fight once again. Called Maintenance Enforcement and asked why only that amount. Answer all they could find. And that was all I was going to get. I know he's working and told them that. They said well they dont see any pay cheques. I said I know he has another bank account. Their answer well get us the banking information and we'll see what we can do. Uh huh I'm just gonna walk into a bank and ask for all the banking information on a person and the bank is going to hand that over. And dont even think about asking him. He disappeared almost 4 years ago. He will not talk or see me or his son. So I asked where does that leave me then? What can I do? What options did I have or could I follow? Their answer nothing really. Oh? Ok. That in itself depleted me completely. I cried and cut. Then CFS called and wants to talk. The first contact I have had with anyone from there since I think it was January 27th? Now they want to jump and get things going. The exact same things they promised to start in October of 09. And before that in August of 09. And believe me I called and called and even went to their offices and stirred the shit. Nothing. Now, I'm just too damn tired and beaten and done. And now because they realize they screwed up horribly, now they want to get me to jump and work and run around in circles to cover their asses. No not self pity. The truth. A government agency has screwed up and when that happens they will use the weakest to place the blame on and cover their mistakes up with. I know it's happened before.

    Sorry this is so long. It's useless telling the same tale over and over to the same people. I know that. But my will to keep fighting and end up beating my head against all the same walls is gone.

    I guess what fight I have left comes out in anger that society just lets so many things happen that shouldnt. Like instead of a doctor being responsible for their patients when the patient cant any longer, it's just suggested try another and another. Why? How does that help me or the next poor soul that happens across that same professional that doesnt really care anymore. That doesnt want to put in more effort than is the norm. And that attitude reflects back onto the patient themself at least in my case. It makes me feel like if I'm not important enough to a professional then why am I important at all? Why put in the effort if a doc isnt going to? Why try when the professionals are so ready to give up when you dont get it or fit the mould they have for your particle illness? That's all you hear too often now is "well that's the way society is going" and that society itself is feeding into that and letting horrible things happen to our very existance. I phone to make an appointment with my doc. I am allowed 5 minutes and only 1 subject or health concern. And I find out that he has double booked that slot. So get the dollars in out. And I guess because I dont want to follow what society has allowed to become the norm, I chose to give up instead. Sorry.

    So after all the words and self pity all I was going to state was that..... I dont need the help. I wont use it anymore. I'm too tired to even give a shit what that makes me or what other people think. I just come here to try and express what is inside me making me give up. I keep telling everyone, I've tried. Damn it I've tried and used up all my resources, financially, physically and emotionally. I've lost dear friends in RL and here because of me and what I have become. And I sit right back at where I was when I started. Nowhere. I'm sorry I started this thread. It wasnt meant to dishearten others that are looking for and finding help. Just me letting some hurt out.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 9, 2010
  12. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Thank you for starting this thread. I know what you mean when you say why fight anymore. I've dropped all of the fights. Trying to get help for my daughter for so many years destroyed me.

    I use to be able to solve things but it's not in me anymore.

    As for someone to understand me, I know that no one can understand all of it, but many can understand different parts. After my experiences in life, this is pretty good. To get full understanding I go to God in prayer.

    I'm managing to hang onto life by having some small things to do. My ability to knit and crochet now has me going to two knitting groups a week. Oddly enough that is helping me a lot.

    I have more pain. My sister is dying, but I don't know when. I've recently realized that she is the only person I'm close to. The grownups hurt me so I didn't let anyone else get close.

    My oldest daughter is being difficult and she's going to lose her daughter which means I'm losing the last grandchild too. Five grandchildren and I don't get to see any of them.

    I've asked God to let my experiences be of help to someone else so all that I've gone through is not for nothing. I told God not to let me know who I help as I don't want to get a big head over it. He does let me know sometimes because it's encouraging to me.

    I practice distraction, take my meds, say only a little to people, and I post more here in my diary. All of this is my endeavor to keep alive.

    The thought comes back, why try? I remember a friend of my who had schizophrenia once said that if she left her ship would come in and she would miss it.

    Another person said he learned to hang out so he could be useful to someone in need.

    Here's to another day of trying to have a better day. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Carly. I know it's a hard road and a rural life presents many challenges. Please keep posting here. Let yourself get it out of yourself so you can let the current thoughts go.
     
  13. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Carla that for that last post it really helped me to understand your situation better as many details I did not know about at all.

    I understand the being tired so lean on us when your too tired to fight. I really really like what Chargette said, listen to here she is wise!

    Carla would you like for me to make a few phone calls for you? I will and have done so for other members. I think it is totally ass backwards that when you are down, tired and ready to throw in the towel you then have to be the biggest advocate for yourself...it is too much, it really is. So that is something I could do for you and I know how to be polite and professional so think I could be of help to you here if you would like.

    Carla I am a fighter and I know you are too, I have seen it. If you post that you are going to end it then I do walk away..why? Because I have learned first hand with my uncle that when someone puts their mind to it they will do it. IF HOWEVER, you post that you WANT to end it then I jump in and fight the powers that be with the person, why?
    Because they have in effect said I want to die but I am not hell bent on doing it...they, in my mind, have said basically I don't want to live my life they way it is but do want to live if my suffering /pain can be alleviated. So Carla if your life could have back some of the joy it once had would you want to live? My bet is yes. I am here for you in any way that I can be for you, just let me know what I can do. If I have trouble understanding you right away just be a tiny bit patient with me, I will get it I really will just a little slow sometimes is all.

    I love you Carla and am here for you. Thanks so much for this post as I was feeling really frustrated on how better to help you and didn't understand why you had not gone to therapy and such, in short why you were not trying. I see much clearer now and hope that I can help you find a way out of this darkness.

    Love and hugs Bambi
     
  14. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    That's a chip off the iceberg of all the things that just seem to fall in my lap predetermined if you like. I fight and fight and it always comes to a huge waste of energy, time, money and personal will. Please maybe I shouldnt post this at all, but it's something that has started and cant be stopped now. It isnt directed at anyone in particular here. Please dont assume that anyone. I do not intentionally try to hurt others.

    Do you understand to literally give up when you know you have children that need you? How much of a failure that makes a Mom feel like. How selfish that makes me feel? The guilt? Not have the fight to give a shit about yourself anymore? To feel physically sick with yourself for giving up not because you want to but because there isnt an ounce of anything left in you? How embarrassed you feel always coming here and just bitching and bitching about yourself and offering help that you cant even apply to yourself?

    (This applies to RL not necessarily here). To give all to someone else that says they love you. To offer yourself and your help unconditionally and not able to find that when you need it? To let yourself believe that you thought you were actually important to someone? That you put faith in, believe in their words and they meant really nothing at all except to you?

    Going to professionals that rather than help, you leave there to make it as far as the nearest bathroom to cut your arms up because they have succeeded in once again making you feel like you just arent trying hard enough?

    And all you do is try. Try to get out of bed each and every morning. Try to deal with your kids 24/7 knowing there isnt going to be someone else to even give you 10 minutes to go outside have a smoke and say phew!!!! Knowing that almost every call you get is going to be an agency looking for money you dont have. And that you arent poor because of your luxurious and selfish lifestyle. But poor because you fought in court for those that legally are just as responsible for those same children that each time you see them you cry with guilt because of the lives they live because of my inadequecies. A life I didnt choose per say. I tried for 20 years to live in an extremely abusive marriage. I left for the sake of my kids not really me. And yet if I hadnt their lives would be better. Try to make it through everyday with suicidal thoughts feeding into your brain with every drive you have to make or fill the hours of silence when you are faced with a childless home Finding failure at every corner you come to and having to decide which failure will I be able to deal with better today. Trying and trying and trying with no relief for any of the efforts. And when I do end up in crisis or hospital, everyone calling saying get home you need to take care of this or that cuz I wont anymore. Coming home and finding the debts and problems even more than when I left.

    Even all that doesnt say or put a dent in it. So that's why I dont tell my whole story. As soon as I do too many other people either assume I'm talking about them or they get fed up thinking I should be grateful for and quit bitching. Thinking and telling me it's all in my head. I dont want to be like this. I dont damn it. I dont. And I keep trying. Til it kills me. It gets too tiring for me to even explain it let alone live it. So I apologize for not being able to help people understand me better. I dont come here looking for advice very often. I try to offer it because it's much easier than trying to find the energy and will to put in place the things people keep offering. Things I've already been trying to do for years. Even a dog knows to give up when it has been abused enough. To lay down and die. At first it will become aggressive and bite back. I did that. But the fight has been beaten out of me.

    I come here looking for support, kind words, no different than other member. Trying to find a reason to hold on. Maybe I've gone about it in the wrong way? Maybe I havent tried hard enough? Maybe I've been selfish, guilty of trying to find some understanding I dont deserve? I dont know?????? All I know is I obviously have done too many things wrong. Because despite my best efforts I'm still actively suicidal. And it hurts when everyone around you can move on but you. Like running a 2 legged race with the disability of only one leg. You try twice as hard as everyone else but never get to the finish line with the others, if you even get there at all.

    I'm sorry, CFS is about to show up. And yes in my mind that is starting to be a "pushing" point if you like. A determining factor as to what is going to happen after they leave. And frankly, it's just much easier that way. I cant see the cup half full. Because I just cant keep hurting myself working and trying to only end up another empty cup!

    Thanks for all the effort put out by so many dear and wonderful people here. It's not you, it's me. I know that, but it doesnt make it easier. Only harder.
    x's & o's
     
  15. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Sorry tried to edit this into the previous post but time ran out as I'm sitting here waiting for an agency that is already close to an hour late. Some of it may be repeated from previous as I typed it in but couldnt save it. But I want everyone to understrand that I am trying.

    I share this part with you here so that we are all on the same page at this point. So we all know exactly what I'm expecting regardless if I deserve it or not. I have decided that before my little one comes home that they need to put in place help for both him and me. Not empty promises. So it's in their hands now. Help that will get me both the rest I need and help I need to get better. Maybe an excuse, a way for me not to have to take all the responsibility and do all the work this time. But I dont hold out much hope or faith. Both of those are things I lost a long time ago. And people show me repeatedly that promises are only offered as a way to bait me in and then to be broken by everyone else but me. If CFS gives me actual things to work with I'll try. They dont, I give up after they've left. And I'll tell them exactly that. Just like I have time and time again. I tell all the "professionals and agencies" that I'm suicidal. I dont hide it or lie. Sometimes not directly cuz I know what will end up happening. And yes in my mind that is a "pushing" point if you like. A determining factor as to what is going to happen after they leave. And frankly, it's just much easier that way. I cant see the cup half full. Because I just cant keep hurting myself working and trying to only end up another empty cup! Only to hurt myself by letting me have hope to have it taken away the harder I work to hold on to it.
     
  16. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm sorry these posts are so long winded. But they are things that are from my heart and I've been told it's quite big (lol). So please try to get through it. I really hope every member here reads this one. Tells another member to read it. All the visitors that come here read it. Maybe it will help spread some thought about the lack of understanding suicide and mental health issues are battling everyday.

    I've been really thinking about a question that was asked "Why is it so important that they understand? Is their understanding necessary for you to get well?" Yes!!!!

    Making people understand in RL is a major factor to me getting well again. SF is like a retreat, a place to go where you are understood. You receive care, advice and support. But it isnt enough. Most people suffering mental health issues and suicidal thoughts cannot "cure" themselves. So many posts say "See your doc". "Talk to someone who understands". "Tell your family". "You can not do this alone."

    These illnesses are not like those of the body where parts can be removed or physically corrected or treated. It is your mind, your thoughts and your ideas. Those things can be "retrained" but not necessarily fixed. And certainly not in a setting where no one else understands and can help you to fight when you need and want to.

    Some forms of mental health and certainly ideas of suicide are just as life threatening or fatal as some forms of cancer. When someone says they have cancer, eveyone rallies around them. Offering love, care, support, treatments, everything possible to fight the disease. In hope of either helping to cure the disease or to make the person as comfortable til the end. When you say mental health issues or suicide, most people turn away. Because they dont understand. The docs aren't rushing in and offering all there is. Friends and family tell you to stop thinking like that. And most times no one is there to help you fight or be there to make you comfortable. Having these diseases are the opposite. It is a Hellish existance.

    Cancer. People dont like it but they understand it. They will educate themselves to help another person. Mental health issues and Suicide. People generally try to deny it exist with another family member or friend.

    When a cancer patient talks about their pain and fears time and time again, others listen and do what they can to make it easier. A suicidal person talks, others dont want to hear. Both illnesses offer mental, emotional and physical pain. Both are extremely taxing to those suffering from the illness as well as those who try to help. And both offer the the possibility of death in the end.

    Cancer is "accepted" but suicide and many mental health issues are not. Why? Because people dont understand. Understanding is the most important reason to getting the proper treatment, care, support and chance of recovering. If a cancer patient were met with the same undertanding as those suffering from mental health issues and or suicidal thoughts, do you think they could or would fight to get better or hold on? The prospect of all the would have to be done alone would be mind boggling to them. Just as it is now for so many people with mental health issues and suicidal thoughts.

    A suicidal person hears "Oh get over it." "Get over yourself." "So many others are suffering more than you." "You've been like this for so long." You're bringing me down." I cant deal with you and your problems anymore." Now say those things to a cancer patient. No one would because they understand it's an illness that the person did not chose to get or have. Just like mental health issues and suicidal thoughts.

    It is of utmost importance for pdoc's, gp's, therapists, councellors, mental health workers and all professionals to fully understand if I'm to get proper treatment to become well again. Just as important for friends and family to fully understand so that I receive the support and care I will need as an aid to the medical treatment. Because just like the cancer patient my illness is pretty damn hard to fight alone. The chances of recovering without help and understanding for both illnesses declines drastically.

    Cancer. Mental health issues. Suicide. One is accepted. The others are not. That is why it is so important to me that others understand if I ever hope of getting the proper help and support to recover. I can take my meds by myself. I can follow up on medical appointments by myself. I can educate myself and practice coping methods by myself. But I cant fight this by myself because people simply do not understand and thus make me feel completely alone when I really need someone to help me. Ican not fight the ignorance and loneliness alone. That takes people to understand me to be able to help me.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 12, 2010
  17. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I see it all time it is like people just give up on the most vulnerable to most needy they just walk away. It is like don't bother us she will grow out of it they don't get it It is a the tuffest thing to get a person to change their mindset once the decision is made You do need professionals that understand that listen that will have patience that no matter what they will continue to fight the battle with you. They are simple not there it is like they just shut off the switch and leave you in the dark to find your way out. All i can say is to keep going back to hospital fight demand that they help demand that they see and don't let the ignore your issues because they are tired because they are uncomfortable dealing with the facts. Fight and get whatever help you need and you know what your right you need someone there fighting with you for proof of what was said and how When you have someone with you the professionals seem to listen better.
     
  18. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    But I need someone to help me find that fight. I dont have it. I dont have it in me anymore to tell and ask and demand. I've done it for so many years and now I accept defeat. I will be selfish and say no more. I just want all the pain and bullshit to stop. And if I'm alive and breathing so is all of it. I die it dies too. THE last option.
     
  19. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Last option yes but call crisis let them call ambulance and fight the fight call doctor and get him to admit you to hospital on a form so you have to stay form 3 as you are endanger to yourself tell him print off what you wrote here and show it to him that way you don't have to talk
     
  20. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Ya know what? I cant make people understand. No matter if I'm trying to do something nice for another or for myself.

    I try to help others here but usually it doesnt. I try to start threads to cheer someone else up or to "encourage" them to keep something good going. But they misinterpret and end up getting hurt. I try to help my friends here and in RL but I end up falling away cuz of the shit in my head. So I cant even dothe friend thing right or help them to understand me.

    I cant even help myself any longer. And now I've just wasted one of my 10 posts. Guess just needed to say sorry.
     
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