For me my pain was caused by fear, anxiety, loss and the fear of losing what I had, a broken heart and deppression, then I used alchohol which was my best friend at the time to numb it all, I used alcholhol far to much for far to long it became my worse enemy and turned against me.
For me I had to deal with everything, I had to stop drinking, get on med's lithium to stablize my moods etc , then work through all off the stuff that caused me to drink in the first place, they told me FEAR stands for face everything and recover.
It worked for me I just wish I didn't have to go through 15 years of drinking morbid amounts of alchohol which caused me to lose everything and end up in jail. whist in jail i soon realized life inside without ale is better than life out here drinking alchoholicly.
Alchol is a depresant in itself, it will make you feel better for a while but you will wake up with nightmares things will feel ten times worse than before.
Please go and see your doctor get the help you deserve.
A friend of mine KIM who was 38 a stunnig girl with a bright future had depression and had suicidal thoughts for a few months, anyway she was coping well but one weekend last summer had some bad news whilst I was away.
She bought 3 litre bottles of Vodca one Friday continued to drink them that weekend until I got back on Sunday found her In a terrible state got an ambulance, she was taken into hostpital and after three weeks of horrendous pain through pancritus and liver damage she died, her last words to me was "I didn't or don't really want to die I realize that now" with that she was gone, her two children 18 & 14 where there at the time.
If anyone is feeling bad get help please, I don't want anyone else to got through that, even the nurse who was looking after her cried.
Danny.
Ps. I saw Kim's daughter at a leisure centre where she works earlier this evening, she is 19 now a real head turner just like her mum, but you look in her eyes and there is no life there the girl has lost all her whit and personality and from speaking to her for a short time she has clear problems to over come over this, it's heart breaking.
Ps. sorry for crap spelling