How do you manage to hold down a career/job & how do you get by if you can't manage?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Aurora Gory Alice, Jul 5, 2009.

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  1. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I was considering going back to college to get my nursing degree, until I recently fell off the boat again and feel like all my months of progress have just been squandered and I am back to square one.
    I'm going back on meds tomorrow and I honestly feel like all of these months of trying to get myself back together were pointless because I just smashed and broke into a million pieces again, and it'll take another God knows how long to find them all and glue me back together again.

    Now I'm thinking what is the point in attempting college again if this is just going to keep on happening? Why bother trying to find a career and a life? Every time I do, something happens and ruins it all anyway, so surely I should just accept defeat and find another way to live.

    We all need money and stuff though, so how do those of you who cannot manage to work get by? I've always wondered. Mainly those who aren't living at home. I live with my Mum right now and she pays for everything, but I'm 26 and I know she wants me out of the house within the next four years, how will I get by then?

    I do want a job and I want to work and be 'normal', but I just don't know how to! How do people do this?
    Some days are better than others obviously, but what about the bad days? I can't just keep calling in sick for the rest of my life.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 5, 2009
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Re: How do you manage to hold down a career/job & how do you get by if you can't mana

    Maybe moving out of your moms would be a positive step for you.. It would give you the independance that would help your self esteem..Knowing you have to support your self would give you that incentive to get up and go to work everyday.. I also think that nursing school would help with your self esteem also. You would feel those months and months are a positive step to your life feeling whole again..Even if you don't move out of moms I think you should seriously think about school..
     
  3. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Re: How do you manage to hold down a career/job & how do you get by if you can't mana

    I've given up on a few jobs because of my depression but have found that sitting around has just made me feel worse. Not only does it give me too much time to dwell on how bad I feel but the financial pressure of not having an income just adds to it all. Doing something like nursing would be a positive step. You would be doing something that you should feel good about and that would increase your own self esteem. Personally I have a great deal of respect for anyone who does such a job. I know it's not easy but then nothing about depression is. Keep fighting it though and one day you will beat it. Best wishes.
     
  4. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    Re: How do you manage to hold down a career/job & how do you get by if you can't mana

    I tried working when I was younger. It didn't happen due to my depression and anxiety attacks. I couldn't hold a job. I still can't, though I do try and work now and then, still, when I get in the mental/emotional position to do so - usually simple things, under the table (such as house cleaning or care-giving).

    I was put on SSI when I was 25 due to C-PTSD and not having a stable job history. So I get by on the barest amount to survive on, like many many people in the US (or the world, for that matter). At this point I'm still partly depending upon my dad for financial support. I resent it greatly, and can't wait to get out of it.

    Snowraven's right about having so much time on one's hands, and about how one's financial situation can affect depression. If you can fight it, do so! Good luck!
     
  5. lachrymose

    lachrymose Account Closed

    Re: How do you manage to hold down a career/job & how do you get by if you can't mana

    I am 24 and living with mother. She pays for everything.

    don't think going back to college is pointless because, having a goal is good. Without a goal, what will you do tomorrow?

    As for work, find something, regardless of whether the pay is low, something that you will feel comfortable doing.

    My comfort zones are: movie theatre, toysrus, gamestop, best buy.

    To this day, i haven't gotten the call back from any of them after submitting several applications. but I am right now waiting for school to start. I will graduate with a bachelor this year. Still looking for work too.

    Anyway, keep looking! If you get hired somewhere, you can at least help your mother pay the bills and expenses.
     
  6. XXXXX

    XXXXX Antiquities Friend

    Re: How do you manage to hold down a career/job & how do you get by if you can't mana

    Long term that seems like a good move, particularly once you can work on an Agency basis.

    Although a very different field, years back I drifted into an area that allowed me to work on fixed term contracts, I found the fact that each job was NOT forever very helpful mentally. and when I didn't feel like working for periods during a year I didn't.

    Nowadays I am self employed with a couple of small (very!) businesses. I don't make a lot of money - cos I don't work very hard :biggrin: but it's on me own terms. A frugal lifestyle helps the cash flow........

    But what do I really know :blink:.......now back on sf.com :rolleyes:
     
  7. JBird

    JBird Well-Known Member

    Re: How do you manage to hold down a career/job & how do you get by if you can't mana

    i dunno if i'll be included in this because i'm only 16 but i've just sat my GCSE's while doing a 16 hour a week job. Doesn't seem like much but i stressed out a lot and got really down but nearing the end of my exams i had a little 'me time' after school or work. For me, when i got back i'd change into the laziest clothes, lay on bed with my cat listening to some music for an hour then get up, wash and get dressed again and carry on, it helped my mood a lot. I've also found it helpful if you actually have fun at work. I'm lucky, i work with some really awesome people and serve, sometimes, really funny customers, it makes the work day go by a lot faster and its more relaxing.

    Yer, i don't have anything to stress about compared to adults but its more my brain and thoughts that stress me out instead of reality.
     
  8. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Re: How do you manage to hold down a career/job & how do you get by if you can't mana

    If nursing is something you're interested in pursuing then you should definitely go for it. One of my biggest regrets is not finishing my nursing, I only had 1 year left before I qualified but I crashed & burned due to a lot of factors. I was meant to start my training again last September but I just wan't well enough.

    Sometimes it can be good to have a long term goal, something to aspire to.

    Financially, I'm not too sure how the bursary/loan scheme works in England, but chances are there wouldn't be too much of a difference to what benefits (if any) you currently receive.

    :hug: xx

    JBird - At your age that sounds like quite a bit to me, you could put a lot of other 16 year olds & probably a few adults to shame too. You should be proud for being able to take on so much responsibility :hug:. xx
     
  9. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Re: How do you manage to hold down a career/job & how do you get by if you can't mana

    If you want to work so badly but are afraid of going to college and not being able to handle it, why not go to your Jobcentre and claim JSA?

    I claim benefits for being unable to work. They are available if you want them and can mean you get some financial independence from your mother.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 21, 2009
  10. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Re: How do you manage to hold down a career/job & how do you get by if you can't mana

    I already do this, but with the amount of debt I have, it pretty much all goes to that.
    Sadly it's just not enough money and definitely not a long term solution.
    I think I've come to a place (finally) where I think I can do this, so it should all be okay. A lot of the people I've chatted to on this forum have told me working really helps with your depression, I can see how it would, so I'm really going to push myself to aspire to/achieve something.
     
  11. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Re: How do you manage to hold down a career/job & how do you get by if you can't mana

    OK. It's good you feel you can do what you want. In the meanwhile if you're scared about what you can and can't do, you could go volunteering though? That would mean less stress- like you have to go in every day kinda thing and would prepare you for what your course/job demands, if you're thinking of heading for that.

    Good luck.
     
  12. QuadLazer

    QuadLazer Well-Known Member

    Re: How do you manage to hold down a career/job & how do you get by if you can't mana

    I say get a job and go ahead and get back in school. And by job, I mean anything/whoever will hire you fastest. Trust me, I got laid off of one really good job I had, and so I just worked at a Wal-Mart for like two months to hold me over to my next (well paying) job. Always be looking for ways to better yourself, but if you're in a shitty situation just work with what you have there and now and eventually you'll get more and more.
     
  13. killtomorrow

    killtomorrow Well-Known Member

    Re: How do you manage to hold down a career/job & how do you get by if you can't mana

    thats exactly how it is for me.
    im considering joining a hippy like community,become more self sufficient
     
  14. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Re: How do you manage to hold down a career/job & how do you get by if you can't mana

    I know how you feel - this is what keeps going through my mind .. but I guess we will never know if we don't try :smile:

    I live with my Mum who pays for bills and food etc. I am also on Incapacity Benefit which gives me £204 every two weeks.

    I wish I had the answer to this, I really do :sad:

    Oh so true :sad:
    Easy to say ... hard to do :sad:




    Anyway Linds, in answer to your question ... I have not been able to hold down a job for about 3 years since my deperession got bad. I think I am starting to get to the point where I could handle it again ... I'm just scared incase I can't. :sad:
    So yeah, I know how you feel. PM me if you would like someone to talk to :hug:
     
  15. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Re: How do you manage to hold down a career/job & how do you get by if you can't mana

    Thanks Sam. :)
     
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