How do you open up in therapy?

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Well-Known Member
I've started seeing a new therapist. My old one was kinda a hippy and we never really connected. She wasn't that great. This new one is a full Psychologist (and licensed social worker) while my other was just a licensed counselor. Still, I'm kinda stuck. I'm not one to talk about feelings or problems. I never have, even as a kid I didn't.
She commented that it seemed like I had a hard time talking. I try to be open. I answer questions honestly. But I just don't have anything to say. She seems to think my childhood was traumatic - more than I do. I just say it wasn't that bad and it could have been worse and move on. There was some abuse, such a sexual abuse, but it was molestation really and nothing more, though it went on for a long time. I rarely think about it and don't consider it to be that big of a deal (could have been much worse) and just embarrassing. I don't like talking about it to her and in real life have only told one person about it besides therapists. I'm quite embarrassed about it. What I mean is, she thinks it's worse for me than I think it is. It's very odd. I don't like feeling pitied.
I don't leave therapy feeling any better. I feel worse when I talk about things, not better. How do I get past it? How do I get the most out of therapy?
She wants me to make a timeline of good and bad things in my life. I dread it because I don't like admitting the bad things. I don't want to make a big deal out of it. And I don't have enough good memories to balance it out. Good things happened I'm sure, I just don't remember them.

I've been doing therapy for a year and I'm still new at it. I haven't gotten anywhere. It makes me want to quit. Advice?


Well-Known Member
First of all, have you shared what you said here with your therapist?

I'm aware that you may know this, but i thought i might kindly say that it may takes time to adjust to therapist and the fit needs to be right for you to be able to get the most out of therapy. Perhaps, the feeling that therapy is still new although you've been going for a year indicates that this therapist may not be the right one for you. I believe it is not uncommon for therapist to deal with patients that find it dificult to open up and talk, some therapist are better skilled than others in helping these kind of patients.


Well-Known Member
I have some of the same reservations you have. You might want to make a "mini" pro and con list. Like one item on each side of the list. Start with a con that's a little easier to talk about. Tell the therapist this is what you can do right now. Also, starting with this will let you find out how you feel about the therapists response without divulging everything.

I hope this helps.

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Hi hun takes time for both you and your psychologist to build up a level of trust then the ability to talk more will come. A good therapist will always find a way to get you to open up with regards to your past hun you are minimizing your trauma it is a big deal and it will affect you greatly you psychologist will work on that with you as well. I hope you give it a chance this new connection and i hope that you will get the insight and the care to heal Please do not minimize your abuse okay you suffered greatly and i am sorry you had to endure that hugs to you


Well-Known Member
There are two things I would tell you. First what are your goals? Take the time to talk about it with your therapist. Write them down. You need to know where you are going.

Second, this is your therapy then you can decide not to talk about your childhood. Who knows, you might want to talk about it eventually. Until then concentrate on you goals like learning your triggers, recognizing your symptoms, working on stress.....


Antiquities Friend
I am meeting with a new psychologist tomorrow. I am just as apprehensive as I was with my last therapist. I know what it's like to not be able to talk. I hardly talked for about 6 months, and then right when I start to talk, my last therapist's internship was over.

Now I get to feel a new one out. And that's going to cause alot of stress. I can empathize with your stress. It sucks that we have to have therapy at all. I have to have mine in order to get my meds managed. But even then, part of me just wants to say I am done with therapy, and am able to move on with my life.


Well-Known Member
I actually started with a new therapist last week(I've had 2 sessions with her). And she's also a full psychologist, as opposed to the general therapist/training doctor I was previously talking to.

I don't talk about much and half my problem is the fact that I don't really like other people. I don't feel all that connected to others. Humanity is a pathetic thing. I'm much more comfortable on my own. I don't really require all that much social interaction. I tend to just talk to myself lolol.

My depression is somewhat more 'existential'. Life in general gets me down, along with the stupidity of others(not saying that I'm some fucking incredibly smart person, but I think it's a bit dumb to say we've actually evolved from apes. Look around. We don't act all that much different from them.)


Well-Known Member
Starting therapy was like starting to write on SF. I couldn't shut up. I had to talk and talk and talk. Then one day, I looked up and I realized that this woman had actually been hearing me all this time. I mean, what a revelation! I think she was the first human being who had ever seen or really heard me. It took a long time, but then I found other people "with ears."
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