Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jamie20m, Aug 29, 2008.
When the day seems never ending. How do you pass the time?
Watching tv, going on computer, or going for a bikeride usually does it for me. :smile:
Focus on how miserable my body feels, extreme faitgue, skin irritation, muscle joint aches and pains, itchness, etc... Compulse about how I could have avoided the stress or a virus which in all likely hood triggered the symptoms I'm feeling whatever disease or syndrome it is.
Focus on how I look, how my skin is red there and how it feels bad, or how the side of my face is sorta puffy, yet I don't know the cause.
Go on the internet and focus on my symptoms trying to figure out what's wrong with me and how it could possible be fixed.
Go on the xbox for an hour or two. Maybe watch some TV. If I'm lucky I can not zone out for this short time peroid and not foucs on my physical symptoms.
Basically I'm in the business or misery. My family would actually be happier without me, the way I am now. I know they would never admit to it.
No one likes a miserable person. I just want to wake up and feel alive. This nightmare has to end.
All I want is for my physical symptoms to be cured. So I can workout, have managable anxiety, get a job, make new friends and hang out with the ones I do have. Have a girlfriend someone to love me.
Endlessly repeating the same tasks, whether its in real life or virtual.
Speed around in circles, drifting corners. The concentration takes out a lot of the time to think about how much life sucks, and then you're tired enough to get some sleep. The adrenaline helps to make me feel less than like crap.
Oh, and boring classes.
And flirting with girls who will always end up passing you over for a jerk who treats them like crap.
I go for long walks mostly. Sometimes i try to read or do crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles. Anything to try and keep my mind occupied.
Do make work projects a lot. Right now I'm trying to install and set up pretty much every OS out there at least once and give it a try. I'm doing FreeBSD now.
Piss away time any way I can. Television. Downloading music. Thinking. Sleeping. Video games.
I get on the computer. It's a virtual playground. There is so much to do on here... it's overwhelming :blink:
Study and do school work.
Clean and organize things.
Read books and magazines.
Having a dog or cat helps tremendously. I used to lay on my dog's bed and talk to him when I was suffering a bout of insomnia. Funny, I would talk to him for hours knowing all he was hearing was blah, blah, blah, Mookie, blah, blah, sob Mookie. It sure felt great though and his wagging tail was a powerful antidepressant.
I go for long bicycle rides (tinkering and maintaining the bike too) into tourist trap towns and like to wander around a nature preserve with a friend. In my last apartment I would get cabin fever too easily so I would calm my agitation by wandering around the internet, watching a DVD, exercising, reading or repairing/modifying/dyeing my clothing. The last hobby can be very satisfying.
Awww, Mookie is a cute name
I'm still surfing the site, at 3am.
Guess I should go out for a drive to calm down.
Not sure if this site is great for me to stay at too long (ish having savior complex meybe?).
Have to get up tomorrow, slam out 3 days worth of work in one. But I'm hanging out with my friend from high school for a couple of hours.
I get up and take my grandaughter to school, go home have a cup of coffee. Then I go lay back down, I'll either go back to sleep or I will just lie there listening to music..I will then get up and get on the computer and get on the SF. I will get on and off several times a day and night.!!:chopper:!!