i feel lately that i am not doing well, i feel like i am going to go soon. but i have cut off contacts with the rest of the world as much as possible. everybody i get in touch with sooner or later ends up leaving me, even professional help. i have severe trust issues and dont know if i can ever dare to fully open up, i dont know where to find help. i want to open up and get rid of this agonising thoughts but i have nobody i trust enough to say out openly, and i dont know how to get professional help that i can open up to without having to be ashamed. lately every time i go out i feel like i am the weird one, i am the unadjusted one, that i have no social value anymore. i dont know if there is something wrong with me, and if there is whether i should talk openly with someoneabout it or if the cure is worse than the condition if i would speak openly. the thing is i dont trust anyone well enough anymore to go heart-to-heart