I am barely able to type this, my legs are jumping from agitated depression. I've barely eaten, done a few chores, lied down, paced around, done push ups/pull ups and just been crying. Friends and family know how I am and have been calling. I am happy to hear from them but even the ring of the phone makes me jump and when I talk on the phone, I cry and can barely speak. I came out of the hospital about a month ago, having had ECT successfully for my depression. It only lasted about a week and a half. I've had medication changes/additions but in the past year and a half depression, which was the least of my problems (OCD, GAD, PTSD) has become constant and often, like now, so bad getting through the day is hell. I keep forcing myself to concentrate on hopeful thoughts but I keep wishing to just end my life peacefully and think about carbon monoxide or an overdose. I don't want to hurt the people who love me. If I call my psychiatrist she will just want to put me on Seroquel which makes me a zombie or increase a tricyclic which just worsens my insomnia or have me go back in the hospital. I just want to ride this out. Anyone here is there something you do that helps you through your worst depressions?