how do you show emotions?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by jasonkramer, Nov 16, 2010.

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  1. jasonkramer

    jasonkramer Well-Known Member

    i know that seems like a really stupid question but its one i have been trying to figure out for years and i want you input.

    i am a very emotionally immature or possibly emotionally retarded person and am not sure how to approach this.

    for most of my life i have been able to suppress all my emotions but hatred and anger. if a movie i watch attempts to make the audience feel happy or sad i will do my best to resist that and i will win. unless it deals with hatred or anger in which case i will lose. this natural defense mechanism has caused me some issues when it comes to forming bonds with people.

    example.
    girl gets drugged by unknown person. later the night she bites my arm hard enough i had a welt and teeth marks on my arm. 12 hours later she wakes up in my truck and asks why her head hurts, her foot hurts and why she cant remember anything. i explain it all to her and show her what she did to my arm...for the next month every time she sees me she hugs me and kiss me saying how great full she is. my response to all this is every time she warmly approaches me i clampdown all my emotions and become as cold as possible.

    this is perhaps one of the best examples i have. to further expand on this, the girl in question made it quite clear she was interested in me, she even explicitly said she wanted to sleep with me. i couldn't care less about sex but i find it frustrating that it takes so long for me to build a connection to people when they obviously want the connection.

    right now i figure i have 2 options. either use my normal strategy of blocking emotions and continue to fail at stopping my hatred and anger or i can try to use my other emotions to essentially bury my hatred and anger.

    so tell me how you use your emotions? anything you have to say could be useful.
     
  2. plshelpme

    plshelpme Well-Known Member

    i smile when i want to cry...i smile at funerals...and i don't take things seriously

    but, i used to be like you...couldn't connect to ppl emotionally cuz i just suppressed my emotions as much as possible...

    my advice for you is to write it down...write a note/letter/email to this girl...it doesn't have to start out emotional...just write...and eventually, you will be able to write to her on a deeper level...you will form an emotional connection...and eventually, you will be able to SPEAK to her while expressing your true emotions...you should do this also with anybody and everybody else you feel that you could have some sort of a connection to...it will help you a lot...it helped me...i went from NEVER telling anybody anything, NEVER expressing true emotions/hiding emotions, to writing them down to my (now) best friend and eventually therapist, and FINALLY, now, i can actually TALK to my best friend and my therapist (whereas previously i could never verbally express anything)...

    it's a long process (mine took 6 years)...but it cannot be bad (except the one time my best friend forgot to hide the note i had written her, so her father found it and read it)...regardless, though, overall, i learned how to express my emotions to people, and now i actually have friends and real relationships...(my best friend is really the first true friend i ever had, and our relationship developed over a series of letters to each other...now, i don't have to write to her anymore) :)

    hope this helps!!!
     
  3. jasonkramer

    jasonkramer Well-Known Member

    its worth a try. ill do it. thank you.
     
  4. bhawk

    bhawk Well-Known Member

    emotionally i can be very cold.

    i rarely give away how im feeling. although i would always say "i love you" to my partner before i left the house for any great period of time i would rarely talk about how i feel.

    Although with anger i do show that, rarely to a woman however, i rarely even shout at a woman. Although if a bloke pisses me off it doesnt take much for me to jump the table and headbutt him.
    Although i am a man of principles so they only get it if they deserve it
     
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