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How do you stop being so sensitive?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Witty_Sarcasm, Mar 26, 2014.

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  1. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I guess it's a simple question, but the answer seems to elude me. For as long as I can remember, I've been a really touchy person. I got an email earlier that was angry, and then I proceeded to get upset and cry. I don't know why I keep doing this, I always tell myself to be stronger, to not let their words get to me, but it doesn't seem to stick for some reason. I get upset when people see me in a negative light for some reason. So, how do I stop letting things get to me so easily, and just kind of shake it off?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sensitive too hun it is who we are and i do not think we can change that but we can change how we react to the people that harm us. we can tell our minds that it is not us that are the problem it is the ones that attack they have the problem for being unkind We as sensitive souls we are the ones that care we do hugs
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Yeah, I guess there's really no changing it, even though some people seem to think that it's a personality flaw, or that I should toughen up...I just don't know how to do that. But I can give peoples' angry words less meaning to me, because I don't deserve to be treated like that.
  4. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    Sometimes I think it has to do with self-esteem. My self-esteem is incredibly low. Any lower and it would be non-existent. I think if it were higher I would be able to deal better with the negativity that others send my way. Don't know if its the same for you, Witty, but I hope you find relief.
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    My self-esteem is incredibly low, too...I don't know why I get so upset if I perceive that people don't like me. I wish there was some way I could just learn to tune that out.
  6. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I am a very sensitive person. I have always been this way. I was told by a wise man that when people communicate negatively toward me; they are telling me something about themselves. Instead of focusing on the painful things they say and claiming them on a personal level. Try to figure out the hidden message in their words. What do their words say about them?
    Also we can choose to take offense by someone's words or not. It takes practice to achieve control in this way, but it's possible. Blessings...
  7. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Thank you for your advice. I guess I do need to consider that the problem may be with them, and it's not a reflection on me. I'll try not to focus on their negativity and not let it affect me so deeply.
  8. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    The advice of considering the problem could well be with them and not you is excellent advice and very often true.

    The reason the ability to shrug off theses eludes you I do believe has to do with self esteem. If there is a part of yourself that is very negative towards yourself, then cruel words hurt because that part of you believes them even if you know in your logical mind they are not true. The saying "the truth hurts" may be accurate, but if truth is often based on inaccurate information - in this case the part of you that believes all the bad things but refuses to even hear the positives. You are a very kind, intelligent, and caring person - it is clear to all of us that have got to "know you" through reading your posts here - but that truth eludes you just as much as the ability to shrug off unwarranted criticism. I hope someday you begin to believe what a good person you really are.
  9. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Thanks for the kind words. I hope someday that I do see myself in a more positive light. If 99 people told me how great I was, and 1 trashed me, the 1 person will stick out more than all of the compliments will. Largely it has to do with how I feel about myself. The way people have treated me has helped to diminish my self-esteem to about nil over the years, but I know that it can always be rebuilt. Now I just need to start believing in and embracing my good qualities, and not focusing on my shortcomings.
  10. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Witty, overthinking what other people of you is difficult. You should not worry about others, as you are a very kind and wonderful person. It does affect self-esteem but remember people who judge others think they are perfect and have no faults. These people tend to ignore their own faults and like to ponder on others.

    Remember we are on a plant where there are billions of people and just thinking about a couple of other people is not worth it. You should be proud of yourself and nothing more. I hope these words help you and take care.
  11. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I realize too that they are probably projecting their own insecurities onto me, so I have to take that into consideration. It's hard to be proud of myself when I feel like I haven't accomplished much, but maybe I can be proud of myself in the future.
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