How do you......?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Anonymous2, Aug 5, 2007.

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  1. Anonymous2

    Anonymous2 Well-Known Member

    How do you cope with being single for long, long periods of time?

    I suffer from avoidant personality and my relationship experience is far behind my peers, so intimate relationships are not possible for me. I have no choice but to live my entire life alone without romantic love. I no longer try to change my situation. Any attempt would, definitely, be futile. If a lady does not dislike me initially, she will when she finds out how shy, lonely, socially inept, boring, and inexperienced I am.

    I doubt that anyone has been single as long as I have/will, but even if you’ve only been single for a few years, please post some coping tips. The coping methods for being single for a few years are probably similar to the coping methods that could be used for being single for many years.

    Thank you!
  2. twilightki

    twilightki Well-Known Member

    I stopped hoping. I mean, if someone wanted to have a relationship with me, or if I saw someone I liked (Which is not often....) I will ask them, but aside from that, I've stopped lying in bed at night crying myself to sleep over it. I've accepted the fact that it probably won't happen, and I moved on. Cold, hard, acceptance of the fact sure as hell beats the pain it gave me everyday. Then again, I stopped believing in god because I couldn't comprehend it, then as I learned the facts, I saw it as it was. It was scary not believing, but it was better than believing a lie. I'm not one to trick myself into false hope for comfort.
  3. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    that's the supidest thing I've heard all day!
    I've been single my whole life. Sure it sucks sometimes and you think a partner would solve all of lifes problems, but the truth is they wont...
    Stop thinking about it and stressing and hoping, the more you do that the worse you will feel and the less likely you are at finding someone...
  4. Anonymous2

    Anonymous2 Well-Known Member

    :mad::mad:FUCK YOU!!! :mad::mad:, That's not stupid. How dare you make a personal attack, when I'm, merely, seeking support. I'm older than you so I've been single longer than you!!! Asshole!!!!:mad::mad:
  5. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    Right, so you believe you are THE ONLY PERSON in the world to be single for this amount of time?
    yeh right.
    And, I was just trying to highlight the bigger picture!
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2007
  6. expressive_child

    expressive_child Well-Known Member

    Well, lets just cool down, and get back to the topic okay? Come on, lets all be in peace okay? We shouldn't be fighting here.. :grouphug:
  7. Anonymous2

    Anonymous2 Well-Known Member

    OK, maybe I overreacted, but I was offended when you called me stupid. Let me clarify what I meant in my first post…..

    “I doubt that anyone has been single as long as I have/will”

    Pay special attention to the last word “will”. Although I have only been single for 25 years, I, most likely, will be single until the day I die. For all I know, I could live to be 80+ years old. Severe avoidant personality disorder is rarely curable, which is why I’m quite certain I will die old, alone, without ever experiencing romantic love; and no one will attend my funeral. I don’t think anyone here is over 80, so I didn’t think this would offend others. Plus, I was just trying to give others the benefit of the doubt in assuming that no one else is as pathetically socially inept as I am.

    I want to learn coping methods for being single for life…I don’t care if this advice come from someone who has been single for less time or more time than I. The essence what I was trying to convey is that I’m NOT looking for advice for how to cope with being single for weeks, months, or a few years…instead, I’m looking for advice on learning to cope with being single for life.

    If that line still offends you or others, I’m sorry. I was not trying to say my loneliness is any worse than others. The last thing I would want to do is belittle someone else’s problems.

    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 6, 2007
  8. expressive_child

    expressive_child Well-Known Member


    I understand what you have are going through and I know what you mean when you say “I doubt that anyone has been single as long as I have/will”. I know you don't mean exactly that in the sense that you have been single longer than anyone else. I can't imagine having to go through your pain because if I ever find my true love and lost it, I will probably feel the same but so far I haven't. Sorry I couldn't help you in coping, but I hope someone will somehow. Cheer up pal, I hope you will feel better :hug:.
  9. Twisted Sweet Lies

    Twisted Sweet Lies Well-Known Member

    Get a pet. They are wonderful company. And unlike a bf or gf they don't bitch and wine. Also think about how many failed marriages there are and many people are getting divorces. I know a bunch of people getting divorces and they are miserable. Perhaps it's better to never know love then to know it, have it taken away, and be in pain for the rest of your live knowing that you lost something. Me for example I wish I had never known love because then I wouldn't have to put up with the pain of losing it.
  10. SavedByGrace

    SavedByGrace Member


    I am new to this forum, so I am just now reading your post. Sorry my response is a little late. I am young (late twenties), but I am single and looking at the possibility of being single for the rest of my life. And I am totally ok with that because I know who I am and I like me. And that's definitely something I had to learn. Romantic relationships aren't everything, and they often come with many more responsibilities and troubles than we think. It is fallacy to believe that life will be grand once you have a bf/gf, husband/wife.

    Plus, think of all the opportunities you could have as a single person that you couldn't otherwise have if you were in a relationship.

    I have to go for now, but I will write more later.

    Take care.:smile:
  11. RCC

    RCC Well-Known Member

    I haven't left my house in the last seven months, so I got my father to get me a Nova Scotia Duck Trolling Retriever, hoping it will get me out of the house and more optimistic in general life.
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