How do you...

[Fantasy Addict]

...talk about your emotions?

I thought of this topic last night during therapy. Because my dad always discouraged talking about emotions, I've always been very bad at it. Being a very intellectual person, I find it much easier to detach myself from my emotions and speak about them from a logical standpoint as if they belong to someone else. For example, instead of saying things like, "Because this happened to me, I feel like this." I'll say something more like, "Well, if a child is introduced to this at an early age, naturally, this would be a responsive coping mechanism."

As you can tell though, I have no problem talking about things like that on the internet.

How about you?

 

[jameslyons]

I articulate my emotions with literary figures as reference points.

"Well on occasion I feel as though Victor Frankenstein when he woke up off the coast of Ireland after burning the half-completed monster. "

"All too often, I've felt like Eponine from Les Miserables, you know - ugly and scorned by all society without any hope of redemption."

Or I'll simply state the facts. As a writer, I don't have a difficult time articulating what I feel. I do however, have trouble trusting people enough to voice how I feel; my social mask is often fastened tightly against my skin.

 

[Fantasy Addict]

That's a fascinating way of describing yourself. You seem like a very unique individual, and I have a lot of respect for you.

 

[fromthatshow]

Well you seem to have some idea. You talk about it as if it was someone else. Notice that, and try to use I statements instead. Like I feel this way and so this is how I reacted. That's one way to start.

 

[Fantasy Addict]

Well you seem to have some idea. You talk about it as if it was someone else. Notice that, and try to use I statements instead. Like I feel this way and so this is how I reacted. That's one way to start.

Yeah, but then I get all nervous and start stuttering. I start thinking that what I'm saying sounds stupid, and I can't talk. I get nervous around real people, so when I meet with my therapist, I have to talk as if I'm not talking about myself...

Is there a way to get past that? :sad:

 

[Stranger1]

It sounds as if you and your therapist still haven't completely made that bond yet.. Maybe by talking to her/him you can learn to open up more.. I am very casual with my therapist and she is very comfortable around me.. She always gets me to smile before I leave. That is no easy task because I never smile. It helps to deter people away from me..I also don't do well around people.

 

[Oak]

I'll simply state the facts.

I do however, have trouble trusting people enough to voice how I feel; my social mask is often fastened tightly against my skin.

These quotes rather well describe myself. Logical, down to earth, cold, standpoint view, third person instead of 'I', trust and social mask.

All I can say is that it is not something negative as long as the interlocutor is aware of those 'habits' and knows to recognize when the mask is on and doesnt try to push us in the 'I' and emotion connection before we feel safe and willing to do so. By attempting too soon to make us drop the mask, it can backfire on us as I have done. Just pushed me further in steel mask making and to repress even more my feelings.

It sounds as if you and your therapist still haven't completely made that bond yet.. Maybe by talking to her/him you can learn to open up more.. I am very casual with my therapist and she is very comfortable around me..

As in any relationship, even with psi's, respect of the individuality of each of us is crucial. Not because the person has a tag on the door does it facilitate the expression of what is inner to us. That bond as trust is gained with time not something bought when we pay for their time. Any breach is costly beyond repair specially to people facing ordeals.

My twocents of what i have lived.
Gran xx

 

[Sadeyes]

I first chose someone very safe who I knew would accept me and what I was saying...the more I did it, the easier(although still a little difficult which I think is normal) it became...hope you find your voice in RL..you deserve to be heard...all the best, J

 

[Crue-K]

It is so hard to talk about your emotions. I've been seeing my current psychiatrist for about 5 years and my CPN about 7. They now only about 40-50% of what I feel, my concerns, hallucinations etc etc. If I need to get something off my chest (emotion) I ring a helpline called Breathing Space (for people in Scotland) I usually chew their ear off for an hour probably freaking them out about what's going on with me and it usually makes me feel better. Sometimes when I am really anxious or paranoid or just really down, I write a letter to myself (lame, I know) and let rip.