How does one live life without friends?

#1
Face to face interaction is needed daily for a healthy life. But what is one to do if everyone abandons me, us, because we just need more help than the next person? What did we do to deserve such maltreatment? Is respect a luxury? Is being loved a luxury? If so, then what is this life that we humans have created? Who are we to be stigmatized? And who are they, to........deny us happiness? Shall it be my fault I cannot feel happiness as much as a some "normal" person does? Is it my fault? Am I a criminal? Should I be convicted for not being "happy"? Why should we all assume that the correctness of being human is to be constantly at peace? For if there is one thing we all know....to live is not to be in peace. To live is to restlessly keep moving forward. And yet.......they always want us to stay in one place. To be institutionalized. To be thrown in the recycle bin. To be hidden away. How am I supposed to live happily and be expected to live well if others will not support my decision to do so? For is happiness not the togetherness of humans accepting that we are in fact....human.
 
#2
"How does one live life with no friends? - 0 replies" is the new most relatable thing.

Laughing at the expense of my own depression aside, I get what you mean. I recently had a break up and one of my talking points was always, "you've never even tried to lean about how to care for loved ones it mental illness, you don't respect me."
Honestly the only way around it seems to be to find people who also have/had their own problems, they always seem more willing to understand my foibles. Others seem to be too busy mentally skipping through daisies to have time for us.
Where one finds these people, however, remains a mystery.
 
#3
happiness is nothing if not shared- that's what people say isn't it?
my email is <mod edit - personal information> if you nee a friend btw :) god knows i do, im stuck right now too- its been a while ( sorry for my punctutation but i havent been in the mod for that in a while.). i was convinced i needed time away from everything to be happy but ive hid myself away for a little over a year now and i dont think i was right yknow, maybe its just my lack of motivation but honestly all i do is sit and write and eat and sleep and im not sure what else to do, every time i try to be at least a little productive, i just end up hating it and im not sure why- i think something just went wrong. i dont want to see my friends because they have proved time and time again that they'll just drop me for new more exciting people and these are friends ive had since the beginning and they made like, serious promises to me about our friendship- i dont know what it is but i think im just driving people away. when im unhappy they dont try and cheer me up and when i am happy they dont ven try to be pleased about it, theyre never grateful even when i drive to see them because theyre having a bad day, they just treat it like its nothing when you go out on a limb for them and are only interested in 'self care' like you can treat yourself if you deserve it but i dont think they do deserve it. i really thought i had a real honest friend in this person and they just dont make a drop of effort and they were always acting suspicious- i want to think i had a real friend but i dont know if they just wanted all the things i could provide for them because they were only impresed by going shopping or being taken out to see shows when it came to the end of it and then they just blanked me whenever they felt like it- its not fair.
 
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agwoodliffe

Well-Known Member
#4
I think even the most introverted person would eventually go crazy without friends. In fact social isolation is used experimentally in rats to induce feelings of despair.
I'd say in a nutshell, you cannot survive without friends, unless you are a clinical psychopath - the only type of person who would thrive on a deserted island.

In terms of people abandoning you, I've believed it before and I believe it now: you can tell the difference between real friends and fake friends when they want to be around you regardless of how positive you're feeling, how well you're feeling etc.
My mum said you'd probably find 2 real friends in your whole life. Muhammad Ali said a similar thing (''I hardly have even 1 black friend'').
It is like you need to dig through tonnes of sand in order to find buried treasure - don't focus on the sand or you'll probably never find the treasure.

Also bear in mind that there are some people who will be mean and unpleasant to you no matter how hard you try. These people tend to be labelled 'antisocial' or 'narcissistic' - any relationships they have with others are completely superficial. They'll only want to associate with you as long as you have something to offer them; once you're no longer of use to them, they'll discard you like trash. These people are complete write-offs in terms of bonding. If you spot such a person, do yourself a favour and keep them out of your life.
 
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HumanExMachina

SF Artist
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#5
So much focus on others, but what people forget is that to others, they're the others. The way to get others to start behaving better towards you is to start being a better other yourself towards others. So confusing, isn't it? Almost like a lost Abbot and Costello bit.
 
#6
So much focus on others, but what people forget is that to others, they're the others. The way to get others to start behaving better towards you is to start being a better other yourself towards others. So confusing, isn't it? Almost like a lost Abbot and Costello bit.
I have ASD. What does it mean to be a better other? To me it simply means to be more socially adept. All through high school and university I'd help my class mates out and yet nobody wanted to hang out with me or be seen hanging out with me. I don't think I was a worse person than they were, just socially awkward.
 

agwoodliffe

Well-Known Member
#7
I have ASD. What does it mean to be a better other? To me it simply means to be more socially adept. All through high school and university I'd help my class mates out and yet nobody wanted to hang out with me or be seen hanging out with me. I don't think I was a worse person than they were, just socially awkward.
Did you get any support during those years? I don't even have ASD (according to several doctors) and yet I had just as rough a time socially as you did.
 

HumanExMachina

SF Artist
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#8
I have ASD. What does it mean to be a better other? To me it simply means to be more socially adept.
To me it means to always try and be considerate of other people's feelings. If the others around us aren't able to appreciate that and respond to it, it's very much they're problem, not ours.
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#9
Wow, I can so relate. You have no idea how much you are not alone. I have no friends, but because I have good family supports (mostly) it doesn't bother me that much except for on weekends when I always just stay indoors away from people, those times I do wish I had friends. I have no social life, no idea what its like to have one except for when I was a child. My anxiety is extreme 99 percent of the time and I struggle with it daily, my message really here is just to share what others have said, you are not alone and I wish you luck in finding new friends in the future, hugs x
 

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