How does one live without any motivation to live?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Veryunfairlysuicidal, May 14, 2014.

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  1. As the title says.

    I turned severely suicidal for 4 months ago and my situation is probably the worst anyone in the world has experienced (I know it sounds crazy, but that's really what my logic mind tells me, my situation is so freaking disgusting beyond any words). So how does one do? I'm not looking for ways to get motivation cus I know I will have absolutely none for about a year (after that we'll see). That there's a little, very little that still might be hope in the end (but probably not is what my mind tells me) is why I'm still alive to this day (although it's really hard).

    I've isolated myself as much as I can, quit my job and never see my friends anymore whatsoever. Due to circumstances though I'm actually forced to interact socially at least a little every day. The only thing I can do in these situations is not to be anybody at all and social interactions now actually terrifies me, as I don't want to say or do anything.

    That all this has happened to me is really shocking. The first month I wrote suicid-letters everyday on my phone and couldn't believe this had happened to me.

    But anyway, how does one live without any motivation to live whatsoever at all? Does anyone know some way? Also how the hell do I interact socially when I have no will to live whatsoever anymore. I hope people understand what I mean.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 14, 2014
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i understand i do and the only way i continue on is to remind myself how much harm i will cause others if i leave You hold onto someone that you care about
  3. ValentineBabe

    ValentineBabe Active Member

    Hi there welcome to sf. Sorry to hear of your struggles, maybe reading other stories and knowing you're not alone will bring some comfort. Maybe reaching out to others will get your mind off things. I can related to your social anxiety as I suffer the same. I have no great wisdom on that but know that others often misunderstand you and it can hurt. Just know there are lots of us here with you and understand your pain. Wishing you strength...... Blessings ~~
  4. girlgonebad

    girlgonebad Member

    i feel the same as you its nice to reach out online to people in real life i talk to no one about how im feeling etc
  5. Akai_Namida

    Akai_Namida Member

    This is a very difficult question. It's something I've been trying to deal with for some time, as well. It is extremely difficult to do anything when you're like this. Even sitting up in bed seems to hurt. It's like your mind is paralyzing you, body and soul. For me, the only thing that can convince me to get up and continue is the fact that my family absolutely needs me to. It really hurts to have to leave your house and continue joining society when you absolutely find nothing good about being involved in it. Unfortunately, much of our motivation to do so stems not from doing what is best for ourselves, but from doing what is best for others. It's not much of a motivation, but we are conditioned to put our feelings on the backburner because society needs us to do it a favor by making money, keeping others company, etc. I find this to be extremely unsatisfactory and the fact that the majority of humanity finds this mentality not only acceptable but preferable makes finding any motivation to rejoin life not only difficult but empty in the end. The most relevant answer I have ever come across is to find something you enjoy and live for that, if nothing else. It hardly makes anything else easier, but from time to time I try to remember that advice. I have a singly hobby that means more to me than almost anything else that the world has to offer. When things get like this, I try to force myself to get up and focus on working on that hobby. A lot of the time, it helps because I am able to block out all of the noise that my mind is making when it tells me to stop doing anything and get back in bed and wait to die. I don't know if you have anything like that to keep you occupied, but for me, sometimes I find that keeping busy can help me to get rid of all my apathy for a time because I feel like I'm doing something valuable, even if it's only for me. It doesn't work 100% of the time, but I still keep trying. Even when the rest of the world thinks that I am just sitting here feeling sorry for myself, I am still continuing my research, even if it's just to keep everything off my mind. I would suggest finding something like this if you don't already have a hobby or activity that you enjoy; it doesn't matter how small it is. I wish that I could offer something a little more helpful to you, but I hope that by sharing with you what works for me, you may be able to find something that will offer you a little relief from this torturous state of mind. I absolutely know how you feel.
  6. MentalMarvy

    MentalMarvy Active Member

    You have to look for the positives in life, even when you don't feel like there is any, there is at least one. I can come up with one right now for you: I LOVE YOU!
    That's a positive :) I know how you feel.. i have defiantly been there... and it helps to sometimes just talk to someone.. If you don't see a consalor regularly... i'd suggest seeing one.. i'm not trying to be rude or anything... but seeing my consalor on a weekly bases has really helped me...
  7. kilnair

    kilnair Member

    As much as I would love to find some great wealth of insight to add. I can only
    share how I manage to keep going. I do hear you very much on the utter lack
    of any sense of motivation.

    I find myself marching forward each day. I so detest it, and yet I keep going.
    If I give into a a random impulse I surely know I will make a complete mess
    of what little there is. I keep marching forward hating myself for it, but I
    cling the small believe that being positive makes for a better world. Least
    for those around me. Strangely it does have an effect on the people around
    me. While it does nothing for me. Least I know someone is benefiting from
    my being around as hard as it is for me to accept that fact.

    For someone like you who only wants the end. Just keep marching as hard
    as it sounds. No matter how much you wall yourself off. Someone always
    gets hurts if you take a very deep dive
  8. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    I surely do Vus. To answer your question truthfully, "Does anyone know some way?" I can say that by God's grace, I do..... it's coming into awareness of your Real Self - and that it isn't the self which is able to be controlled by your feelings, but (not controlled) LOVED by the true Source of your existence :) It really is the most wonderful motivation, and is actually freely available to all (who want it and are willing to seek) :)
  9. Thanks for taking time to reply and understanding my question. The thing is though that I've always had different hobbies and things that kept me motivated. I've always been that kind of person. The reason why I am suicidal is that for the first time in my life I don't have this anymore. I lost my really life purpose that ment so much to me than anything else, just when I rediscovered it. The situation is so much bigger and sicker than anyone can understand. The reason that I lost this is because something happened to me. I won't be able to continue that thing in at least a year now and by then, I don't think I will actually have the reasons/magic/motivation for it anymore. Especially because I've turned so needy and depressed but there are a lot of other factors to.

    Now I don't feel like anything interests me anymore. Nothing compares the slightest to what I lost. It's really hard to get out of bed in the morning, there's absolutely no reason to. But the whole thing is so much bigger and painful than anyone can understand.
  10. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    might be true.
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