How has your life/lifestyle affected you and/or your body?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by soapymongoose, Jan 16, 2009.

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  1. soapymongoose

    soapymongoose Well-Known Member

    I have heart problems brought on by smoking and drinking too much over the years. Mostly smoking. Weed and cigarettes. A pounding heartbeat most of the time. I'm seeing a cardiologist in a couple of weeks. Ended up in hospital a couple of times. I've not stopped smoking. I should have done over 2 months ago. I don't know how serious it is. My chest pains are pretty constant and my heartbeat seems pretty irregular.

    When I was 8 my "stupid streak" caused me to smash my face on a marble block. Knocked teeth out, cracked my gums and broke my nose. My mouth and palate are re-inforced and I had major facial surgery to cure a growth defect in my nose. Had my whole septum replaced at 16. In and out of hospital because of it beteen 9 and 16. Constant operations and "medical supervision." Due again to my "stupid streak" a 4 day long drug bender caused me to pass out and fall face first onto the floor. That was 6 years ago. Little did I know I'd caused a slow building, recurring infection since then. Pretty much the front of my face feels un-natural all of the time. My sense of taste is affected. I'm so conscious of it all the time yet its bareky noticeable. I can feel every bit of whatever material is in my mouth though. I'm a bit of a sugar addict to so, despite brushing a LOT it has took its toll on the other teeth. I'm missing parts of too many teeth to mention.

    Last year my inner rage caused me to smash my left hand against my solid wood bedroom door. I didn't feel a thing for 4 hours, was laughing and joking about it. With one punch I'd broken the lower bone of my hand in 3 places, dislocated my little finger almost all the way round, shattered one knuckle and cracked another. I'm right handed but play a lot of guitar. The last thought in my head before I did it was "left hand would do more damage." It was touch and go whether I would be able to play guitar properly afterwards. Fortunately I can, the other seems unthinkable. I don't know why I would pre-meditate such a thing though really.

    Got scars and that.

    In a way I don't mind any of it though.
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey SM,
    I have always been big for my age, so when I was young I used to do carpentry and everytime something heavy needed lifting or handing up roof trusses to the guys on the wall I would always be the lead person handing them up. Well later on in life I couldn't take the back pain anymore so I had two herniated discs in my back that had to be removed. The outer shell of bone is still there they just remove all the tissue inside so it isn't pushing on nerves or your spinal cord.
    I have also had three hernia operations from always doing the heavy lifting in other jobs. I also broke my hand as you mentioned from getting in a fight. The guy I was fighting was balled up on the ground and I kept whaling on his head. I was drunk and he thru my wife down on the floor in a bar. I woke up early the next morning in seveere pain, I looked at my hand and the palm was purple, I had broken two bones in my hand above my little finger and the one next to it. I don't think the bones ever healed right pins or no pins. I still have problems with it when I grip onto something. ~Joseph~
  3. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    my stress and anger has caused so much health problems it is unreal ,the worst thing is it all could have been solved if I had a quiet place to live
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