How how how how

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bonnytree, Dec 19, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. bonnytree

    bonnytree Member

    ...do you get out of this? I haven't eaten for two days and I know that's not helping. I split up with my girlfriend and I feel terrible guilt. I ended it. I have a health issue and I need to take care. No support from her. I begged and begged. But I love her to bits. But it's killing me. Shouldn't have hurt her but it's for the best. She's about 10 years younger and I want her to have a happy life. And I can't make that for her. The comeback is unbearable. She sends texts about the good memories. And I know they were good times. But I can't stop. I can't die. It's not going to help...I've been on the receiving end. Oh tell me to shut up someone please. Writing it down makes it easier. But It's not me that should be hurting is it? I can't imagine how she is. There's a culmination of a lot of things. But my family has come through a lot. I don't deserve to indulge myself complaining. Sigh. My dad has a few health worries and my mum tries to deal with everything. I can't hurt them. How do you fix things? I just want peace. Just quiet.
     
  2. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    You don't need to apologize for saying how you feel - and it's not self-indulgent, it's the best thing you could do for yourself right now by the sounds of it. This forum is great for that, no-one judges and everyone is really supportive so don't be scared, keep posting, tell more of your story.

    :hug:
     
  3. bonnytree

    bonnytree Member

    Thanks Tam.
     
  4. 1victor

    1victor Well-Known Member

    Couldn't make much out of your post due to my limited English but I know one thing - it is not up to you to decide what is good for her. She has been given to you for a reason. You just have to make the best out of it.
     
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Agree with 1victor.
    Are there other reasons why you broke up with her, or is it just because of the ten-year age difference?
    She's the one who needs to decide who or what is best for her. Is there a reason you don't feel like you could make her happy?
     
  6. bonnytree

    bonnytree Member

    Just different. I couldn't make her or myself happy. Weren't meant to be. And I think she feels the same. Just a good friend is what she should have been
     
  7. 1victor

    1victor Well-Known Member

    Of course, you know your situation better but "I think what s/he feels..." does not work in relationships. First of all, we will never know what other person feels because we project our emotional experience on other people situations. Yet, some people end their life because the emotion is very strong and unbearable, other find will to live with it, and there is people who forget all about it in a few short hours being in the same exact situation. Go figure.
    I think you should talk to her and ask her what she feels, tell her what you feel and see what happens. If you lost her in your mind already what worse would have happen, right? Talk to her.
    :IrishDoll:
     
  8. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Hmm. From what you've said in your first post above I get the impression that she wasn't there for you when you needed her to be, so maybe your breaking off the relationship is also to do with its being better for you too? It also sounds like you have a lot of other things bringing you down as well. Do you feel up to explaining some more about your situation and how you are feeling?
     
  9. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I do think you should talk to her. Tell her how you feel, and give her a chance to tell you how she feels.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.