How I feel about my life so far

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Whoami111, Sep 17, 2009.

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  1. Whoami111

    Whoami111 New Member

    In my whole life, I have been tormented, look down upon, bullied, and pitied upon.

    My family relationships:
    My Dad used to brutally beat me when I was little; he even go as far as tying me up and locking me in a bathroom. I am still angry at him and dwelling upon those nightmarish memories. I never treated my brother and sisters well. Well getting raised like that makes you kinda violent and mean I guess. Now today both of my siblings don't talk to me that much and sometimes ignore me. I have ADHD and everyone in my family knows this, my mom knows this better than anyone, however she still comes and complain to me about problems I couldn't help do anything about it, like forgetting things, being sloppy, unable to sleep at the right time, and thinking too much.

    School Life:Is like prison and hell combined. I use to have a nosepicking habit in elementary school. In early years of elementary kids call me names, throw things at me, and don't let me play with them. There is one time I have about 20 kids taunting me at the same time. I start getting things taped in my back without having me realize it. Oh yeah, I also have asthma, making me one of the weaker kids. I always get picked last on the sports team.
    In my high school years, things only start to get worse. People threatened me, physically assault me, spit on me, and kick me out when I sit on their "table." I hanged around on the "loser" section and I still get picked on right there. I end up meeting the worst people in my life; I have met a drug dealer, a gangster, and some assholes that goes around places to steal.

    My grades in both elementary school and high school are poor, I have a gpa lower than 2.0. My teachers dislikes me. I was luck I was still able to graduated.
  2. josh87

    josh87 New Member

    I think any kid who has to go thru the school bullshit (i had the same experience) should automatically be expected to have mental issues. Some people move on from it, but some have had their entire brain rewired from all the loneliness, paranoia, and pain of that crap.

    Fortunately though, you have a chance to move on from that shit.

    Are you feeling depressed or anything? paranoid, trouble sleeping, irritable, ect.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey life just seems to pick out the weak and destroy them. You are older now and can get help for you now. If you call your doctor ask him about medication that will help you for your depression and your ADHD disorder. There are new medication now maybe the doctor will prescribe something that helps. You should also ask if you can be set up with therapy for talking to deal with the trauma from your past. Talk therapy does work really it gets all the pain out. I am glad you came here because writing your pain out help too gets the thoughts out of your head so you can see them.
    You have power now because you can get help now you need Please call crisis lines and talk with someone or a school teacher councillor that you trust and get help for you. Get help you deserve so you can get stronger
    take care okay just know there is help call crisis and ask them and your doctor. Glad you are here lots of support here.
  4. Whoami111

    Whoami111 New Member

    I feel like my emotions got dulled, but sometimes I get really upset for no reason. I do have trouble sleeping. I also constantly keep thinking about my past mistakes.
  5. Whoami111

    Whoami111 New Member

    I have tried most of those things before(minus the crisis line)
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