How I feel

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by 1Lefty, Oct 11, 2011.

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  1. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    The build-up of depression lowered my energy level, but my eating and sleeping decreased. When I switched from depression into meltdown, my thoughts and emotions built up and raced. The day of the decision, I felt a calm and peace, life was such a frustrating puzzle, but now I knew the solution. The day of the attempt, I felt calm, but also lowered energy level. Once in custody, I felt absolutely drained - physically, emotionally, intellectually. The time in the psych unit promoted proper meals, and occasional thoughtful group exercises or talks with therapists (which I appreciated the most).

    Today, a week after release, it looks like everyone's focus was on short-term survival, without any tangible long-term skills, or living with mental illness. I did learn how to mouth the words I was expected to, but the contributing factors (long-term depression and crippling grief) are still in place and untouched. While I've been encouraged to reach out, I'm hesitant to do so because I now realize my family or docs literally have the power to return me to the psych ward. All it takes is some venting, the wrong word, wrong inflection.
    I am glad I found this place, as it may be my only safe place to vent.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you found this place to hun It does help to vent to talk to someone and i hope you continue to post okay hugs to you:hugtackles:
  3. mytime

    mytime Active Member

    This sucks. Transition a psyc unit back to the "real world" is one of the hardest parts of recovery. Some suggestions:

    record important indicators in your life (sleep, work, exercise, eating, mood etc) each day
    keep working on medication till you find what works
    find a good psychologist
    read some good books
    work through some things that bother you using a problem solving approach
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