how i'm feeling right now

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by underthestars, May 26, 2008.

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  1. underthestars

    underthestars Active Member

    i dont even know anymore. I'm so up and then i'm so down. Im so confused about how i feel and what i want. My depression started back in April over vacation and since then i havent been the same. At first it was over graduation and school ending but now i think its because of the crap i'm going through with my parents. I live life just going through the motions each day. I'm in a crowd of people yet i feel so alone. My friends try to help and when i'm with them i feel better but then i go home and i'm right back down. I dont like being alone anymore and feel like i have nothing to look forward to. Ive considered suicide but dont think i could ever go through with it. I just want to be myself again. I hate how i'm changing and how i have no control over. I rly just dont like life anymore. I feel so out of it all the time. Like lifes just passing me by and idk how to make it better.
  2. MaNg0s

    MaNg0s Well-Known Member

    Finishing school can be a hard thing for anybody to go through leaving friends and it basically means that now you have to become more independent I know how that feels I just finished college and I am going to miss all my friends and its kinda scary because now it feels like I am on my own in the real world if you know what I mean. Feeling alone in a crowd is not weird lots of people get like that because its not the sort of loneliness caused by not having anyone around its by not having anyone to connect to on an emotional level about how your feeling its very common. Suicide is not the answer in this case have you spoken to a doctor or a counsellor about how your feeling if not I think you should. I hope everything works out for you and just to let you know you are not alone in feeling like this if you ever need to talk pm me or you can add my msn messenger if you feel the need to talk or if you just get lonely good luck.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You need to give yourself a pat on the back. You should feel proud that even with depression you have completed school. I'm a '70's drop out. I chose drugs over education.
    Now that I' older I have tried to go back and get my GED. The problem I have is I can't retain what I have read. I tried hard and just couldn't hang.
    Be proud and hold your head high. Good Luck!!!!:chopper:
  4. candy15

    candy15 Active Member

    i love you understars... <3
  5. underthestars

    underthestars Active Member

    I'm finally getting help. My therapist is doing testing tomorrow but the ups and downs are so hard. I'm trying to ignore how i feel and go through it but its hard when you dont feel anything.

    Senior week:(
  6. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    If it makes you feel any better, I'm 56 yrs old and still don't know what I want to be or do when I "grow up". I too deal with feelings of inadequacy and failure. I don't like myself very much and feel quite useless, but I do know that I love my dogs and stay alive to care for them. So I do have one reason to exist.
  7. thebrain

    thebrain Well-Known Member

    Hey underthestars, you sound so much like me. I feel much the same as you. My moods shift really fast though. One minute I feel ok, especially if I have a bunch of stuff to do for work, but one little thing can trigger me and I feel like crap or I just feel numb.

    I used to like being alone, and now, like you I feel horrible everytime I come home after I've been with people. I'm tired of the ups and downs, too. :sad:

    I hope you find some answers soon. PM me anytime.
  8. underthestars

    underthestars Active Member

    It drives me crazy, on top of the everyday anxiety that i get. I hate being in it one minuet and out of it the next and i cant figure out what triggers it!

  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Sounds like you are b-----r. you need to see a doctor and tell him everything. :chopper:
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