i dont even know anymore. I'm so up and then i'm so down. Im so confused about how i feel and what i want. My depression started back in April over vacation and since then i havent been the same. At first it was over graduation and school ending but now i think its because of the crap i'm going through with my parents. I live life just going through the motions each day. I'm in a crowd of people yet i feel so alone. My friends try to help and when i'm with them i feel better but then i go home and i'm right back down. I dont like being alone anymore and feel like i have nothing to look forward to. Ive considered suicide but dont think i could ever go through with it. I just want to be myself again. I hate how i'm changing and how i have no control over. I rly just dont like life anymore. I feel so out of it all the time. Like lifes just passing me by and idk how to make it better.