Hi, I never do anything like this but I can't even imagine talking about things like this to friends or family. Just recently my life has gotten rubbish - my mum got diagnosed with breast cancer and although it has been treated and is looking positive it has scared me into how short life can be. This same week my uncle died at only 48 and was relatively healthy. Although I wasn't that close to him it still shocked me. I have a girlfriend who I have been in a relationship with for 3 years however we don't have sex mainly due to how little she eats - although she won't admit it she has an eating disorder and has lost a lot of weight. My job has also been getting to me I have handed my notice in and Ive got a new job however it is a step back. I feel so hopeless on my days off I just sleep loads to pretend nothing's happening. I want to do something with my life but have no idea where to start. In the last two months I have been looking at more and more suicide methods and if i could just painlessly click my fingers and be gone I think I would right now. I would love to hear what some people think I should do to improve my life and if I'm potentially depressed.