How is it supposed to help you when they don't GET IT?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by pisces-music-girl, Sep 17, 2007.

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  1. pisces-music-girl

    pisces-music-girl Well-Known Member

    (Serious language ahead)

    Fuck you, guidance.

    Aaarrrghh.

    So how is help supposed to help you when they don't get it? They don't really seem to understand that I AM SUICIDAL. I'm not saying it, I AM.

    God damn it, I am stressed out, yes. Three advanced placement courses. Yeah it's tough. I can't believe I'm losing it already. It's September. I need to get a grip.

    But understand me: it's not just stress. Stress makes it worse, MUCH MUCH MUCH WORSE. I have anxiety too. Always have. I'm getting panic attacks, though I haven't had one in a week. I'm suicidal. Aren't you supposed to admit me to somewhere when they tell you that? Or am I not "at risk" because I happen to be in the smart classes?

    I FUCKING WANT TO DIE, JUST UNDERSTAND IT.

    Oh, and my best friends? Don't fucking change the subject when I bring up the fact that I'm suicidal. For the love of god, don't say "well just go to guidance oh my god it's cold oustide..."

    Don't fucking change the subject. Don't you know it's the worst thing you can do to a suicidal person? The worse thing you can do for ME? I'm always there for YOU, be there for ME for a fucking change!!!!!!!!!

    So yes, I am "getting help". If you can fucking call it that. I have a doctor's appointment in fucking October. Fuck, I don't wanna be alive by next Saturday, much less fucking October.

    This is much bigger than hormones. This is much bigger than some weird blood thing. This is much bigger than being a stressed-out AP student. I know it. My normal friends can get moody, get stressed out... but they're nothing like this. They don't SI, get suicidal, shut down completely...

    I'm screaming out for you, listen to me!!!! I need help NOW, not in a month!

    :nerves: Help?
     
  2. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    i am here and i can understand you cause i am in the same boat as you i guess..

    my guess is they think or assume we just want attention and that we really will not do it... well thats what my minister thought a while back and i know he just didnt care at all for me.. heck he still dont care they left and didnt care how i felt about them...

    they thought it was a game, or just a stunt for attention.. but they dont know our pain...

    i am here if you want to you can pm me

    love you :hug:
     
  3. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    Friends are not the best ones to seek suiicidal advice from hun, they often dont understand or may even think you're just attention seeking..
    You need professional help, but yeah even in that case it's hard to get your feelings across. :(
     
  4. pisces-music-girl

    pisces-music-girl Well-Known Member

    Ugh. And what makes me even more angry is that they didn't stay on the subject for long- the counseller, I mean.

    It was like fucking twenty questions. They even asked me how were my relationships with boys. Like boyfriends. I told her they sucked- I'm cursed, never had one.

    It's like... mind boggling... I'm suicidal and they just want to talk about boys? If that's not a trigger, I don't know what is. :sad:

    I wanna cut so bad, but I can't find my blade.
     
  5. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    they ask so many questions to try and understand.
    They need to get to the bottom of your issues, yes they have estsblished you are suicidal, but they wanna know why..what has caused you to be this way.
    They're not mind readers remember this.
     
  6. Beret

    Beret Staff Alumni

    Please stay strong till October
    Lots of love,
    Beret xxx
     
  7. Papa Bear

    Papa Bear New Member

    Hang in there girl!!! My 16 year-old son has run into the same roadblocks - he needs help now, but all outpatient mental health can do is give us an appointment in "fucking" October! I am trying SO HARD to be there for him, but he needs someone with professional expertise to talk this through with and so do you. Friends provide a great support network, but they are usually not in a position to provide advice when the darkness is threatening to overwhelm you. Find some professional help now. Get to a counselor. Does your school have one? If you have any religious beliefs, check with your church and find out what's available. As a last resort, ask to be admitted to an inpatient facility. Be as patient as you can when you talk with any new counselor - they WILL ask lots of questions to try to understand you. They DO WANT to understand you as well as they can. You probably feel like no one can understand you, but give them a chance and maybe they CAN help somehow. I will pray for a miracle for my son AND for you!
     
  8. love-scars

    love-scars Guest

    Oh my..

    I totally understand you! I think you are the first person who has written something and I'm sitting here nodding my head at everything you said!

    When my school first found out I was suicidal, they decided to get Children's Aids to investigate my house because they thought it was my parents' fault and that it was not suicide but just... a reaction to some kind of physical torment my parents were making me undergo.

    My parents LOVE ME.

    And then I went to councelling twice, in which they asked me about BOYS and about my marks and my day and it was like a chat over TEA or something.

    And when I told my friends, whom I have supported for the last two year over THEIR depression, they told me that I was hurting them and that they had it worse and bla bla bla and it became a competition of who had it WORSE.

    Like, I've attempted suicide twice in the last month, and about 13 times in total (counting all the stupid attempts) with cutting, pills, etc etc.

    And everyone just tells me it's for attention.

    My friend, I know we don't know each other, but you have to hang in there, and I'll hang in there too. And if it makes you feel better, someone on the other side of the world is ALSO ready to strangle herself AND everyone around her for being idiots.

    Just hang tight. If you need me, I'm here.

    We can vent about all the stupid fucked up people that don't understand!

    :biggrin:
     
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