(Serious language ahead) Fuck you, guidance. Aaarrrghh. So how is help supposed to help you when they don't get it? They don't really seem to understand that I AM SUICIDAL. I'm not saying it, I AM. God damn it, I am stressed out, yes. Three advanced placement courses. Yeah it's tough. I can't believe I'm losing it already. It's September. I need to get a grip. But understand me: it's not just stress. Stress makes it worse, MUCH MUCH MUCH WORSE. I have anxiety too. Always have. I'm getting panic attacks, though I haven't had one in a week. I'm suicidal. Aren't you supposed to admit me to somewhere when they tell you that? Or am I not "at risk" because I happen to be in the smart classes? I FUCKING WANT TO DIE, JUST UNDERSTAND IT. Oh, and my best friends? Don't fucking change the subject when I bring up the fact that I'm suicidal. For the love of god, don't say "well just go to guidance oh my god it's cold oustide..." Don't fucking change the subject. Don't you know it's the worst thing you can do to a suicidal person? The worse thing you can do for ME? I'm always there for YOU, be there for ME for a fucking change!!!!!!!!! So yes, I am "getting help". If you can fucking call it that. I have a doctor's appointment in fucking October. Fuck, I don't wanna be alive by next Saturday, much less fucking October. This is much bigger than hormones. This is much bigger than some weird blood thing. This is much bigger than being a stressed-out AP student. I know it. My normal friends can get moody, get stressed out... but they're nothing like this. They don't SI, get suicidal, shut down completely... I'm screaming out for you, listen to me!!!! I need help NOW, not in a month! :nerves: Help?