how is it that we are not normal

[gage]

People say that WE are not normal,??? with the number of people that deal with this , i have become to think that it is normal . curiosity about what the other side is like if there is nothing or at least less pain. I feel tremendous pain when animals die, or when one of my brothers dies . but other than that i feel nothing for people. I was in the hospital for 10 months following a failed attempt ( never thought i would have failed ) but during my time with doctors they were unable to figure out my disassociation with people. Maybe it was cause i had some friends die in my lap . maybe it was cause i felt abandoned by those closest to me when i was a child. they do not know and neither do i , day in and day out i have to pretend to show sympathy and empathy and all the other emotions that go along with daily tragedy. but yet feel nothing except the desire to have this shit end i tried to find a reason to keep on going but im so tired of finding reason after reason to stay alive . people shouldn't have to find reasons to not give up , we are supposed to be happy and want to live. but obviously that's not the case . why does humanity suck so bad why do people have to take advantage of everyone they meet.

 

[WildCherry]

I'm obviously no doctor, and so I'm not able to answer all your questions. But just going on what you wrote, I can understand why you don't feel the emotions people seem to consider normal; if you had friends die in your lap, if you felt like you were abandoned when you were younger... I can understand how your emotions just sort of switched off, as a sort of defense mechanism, to try and protect you from the feeling of being hurt.

Wish I had some answers or advice; just wanted you to know I'm listening and around if you ever feel like talking.