How life turned out for me

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Well-Known Member
Life is surely full of dramas and unexpected events. It sometimes feels like a rollercoaster ride. I never expected a perfect life but I didn't expect this kind of life either. A life as a severely depressed person with an unusual addiction.
I just wish there were clear explanations on why I had to endure all the horrible things in life and for how much longer. Sure, I have made wrong decisions in life along the way but despite my conditions, I wanted to lead a good life, trying to be the best that I can be. I gave a damn about life. That is why I stayed away from drugs, tobacco, alcohol and sex. I even decided not to hang out with close friends after school because I knew they were smoking pot.
All those efforts generated nothing but painful, torturous life that is my current life. People live for hope. I live for hope. Yes, suicide is clearly wrong. But at the same time, who would want to live a life without hope?
I wish the Higher Power would end my life by giving me heart attack or letting me get hit by a drunk driver. Why? He is the only One who knows the severity of pains I go through on the daily basis. I wish He would show me mercy by doing that if He has any sympathy left for me.
I sometimes see people who are highly successful, famous, and live glamorous life die suddenly from heart attack, illness or car accident. I wish I were them so they can continue to live their glamorous life while I finally rest in peace free of mental tortures and pains.
Thanks for reading. I wish everyone the best.

Best Regards,


I am so sorry life has been like that, it's hard......But please hang on, life is worth living, being sick we just can't see it.

But please know we care, and I am here anytime you need to talk.

What else is going on?

I am here and want to help, or atleast be here for you, remember people care for you....... you always have SF hun.

:hug: :hug: :cheekkiss

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