Jacey here. 16, junior year. I know that no one can really answer this question, but how long do a stint of suicidal feelings usually last? For me it was alway usually 4 or 5 days. I'm now creeping up on 9 days. It is not like I having been questioning life, but recently myself and a friend have taken the quest to answer life's questions. I know at age 16 the typical kids are all texting, hopped up on caffeine, and facebooking, but I left typical behind in 5th grade. So my friend and I came up with two truths: 1) If everyone could agree that we would never be able to understand truth or each other's "truths" then there would be no more war. 2) That will never happen. So from this we concluded that we are all doomed to war. Hilarious, right? Then last night, my friend who I have never really talked about my suicidal feelings with, said "Why would they want anything from us. We are worthless." It lead to me agreeing with her. I am worthless. Life goes on with or without us. Well we also concluded that nothing outside of the mind exists. The mind exists, therefore your thoughts exist. So emotions do exists. Pain and agony exist. You see how messed up we've gotten. Now I feel more suicidal than ever. I am worthless. Sure some people will care if I die, but in the long run nothing matters. I'm sorry if I broke any rules or triggered any of you. I am just so lost in my mind. My truly existing mind. This agony, this existing agony, I want it to stop. I feel like no positive affirmations will help this one. I can't believe anything anymore. My own high school band family ridiculed me. People I loved and trusted to be there when my own blood family was too much. The director told my section, the section I am supposed to lead, to get out of his rehearsal we were so awful. And when I needed my family to be there the most what did they do? They clapped and cheered as we left. Now I trust no one except my friend. I'm just done with trusting anyone else.