How Long Can I Hold On

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by lainylou, Oct 6, 2016.

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  1. lainylou

    lainylou Active Member

    Trying to hold on, trying to keep it together. Trying to get out of bed in the morning, any time really.
    Feeling fake, worthless, like im a pain in everyones butts... Tired of the gossips. Tired of people saying i should pull myself together. Tired of crying, of being a burden, of my kids seeing me like this...

    Mostly im just TIRED of life
  2. JustCan'tQuit

    JustCan'tQuit Well-Known Member

    Hi lainylou,

    Sorry you're feeling so rough today. Sounds like you have as much trouble dealing with everyone else's opinions as I do.

    Maybe put them aside for the moment.

    Can you remember a time that you didn't feel fake and worthless? What was going on for you?
  3. lainylou

    lainylou Active Member

    No I dont think I can remember... Never really known who I am. Always just gone along with everyone else to avoid conflict and to please them... Now im 37, divorced and its like WTF
  4. JustCan'tQuit

    JustCan'tQuit Well-Known Member

    Well, if you're living a life that doesn't fit you or you're pretending to be someone you're not, no wonder you find it hard to get out of bed in the morning. I don't believe the actor's union permits their actors to work 24/7...

    Trying to please everybody else is an impossible job. You'd find it easier to start pleasing yourself.

    I'm thinking that journaling might help you figure out who you are and what you want. I used to use journals to write out all my anguish, but that just made it worse. Then I figured out I should use them to problem solve and actually help myself.

    To start, can you give some thought to your likes and dislikes, your values, your dreams? I know that's hard when you're feeling down, because the automatic answer is that you don't like anything and you have no dreams. But--bear with me.

    Do ask yourself what you enjoy, and if the answer is "nothing," ask yourself what you dislike least. That's a start. You probably have opinions about something: the kinds of movies or books you like, the foods you prefer, the political party you vote for (I'm not asking), the music you like, what you wish you'd studied in school, where you wish you lived, the best thing about a job you had, the thing you like most about your kids. If you've ever admired someone, what do you admire them for? If you really dislike something about people, what is it?

    If you do something and it makes you feel particularly fake, maybe write that down, too. When do you feel even a little bit more real and at ease in your own skin?

    And are there times you feel a little bit less worthless? Say, when helping people here?

    All of these questions, and others like them, will move you towards figuring out who you are and what you like and value. From there, you may start to get an idea of what you want. And once you know that, you can start taking steps to get it, even small ones. If you can see some progress in a desired direction, you'll feel better. What cuts people up (some personal experience here) is working your tail off in a direction you don't actually want to go or not having any direction at all. (Been there, done that.)
    Frances M, SillyOldBear and SomeGuy77 like this.
  5. Knowme

    Knowme New Member

    The same
  6. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, I know life is hard but it takes tine to deal with life changes. Yes, dealing with life everyday is hard but try to your best to be strong. Some days we struggle and other days seem to be easy. The pain you feel will ease but it will take time.

    Keep posting please, you are apart of our SF FAMILY.
    SomeGuy77 likes this.
  7. SunShine1973

    SunShine1973 Active Member

    Thank you for posting this i to am struggling with life at the moment and it's good to read how someone else is feeling exactly the same sorry I haven't been of any help but thanks for your post
  8. JustCan'tQuit

    JustCan'tQuit Well-Known Member

    I see from a another post that you're in a bad relationship. Oh, I'm so, so sorry. They can just crush our sense of who we are, because we're kept busy trying to please an abusive person who can never be pleased.

    I wish you the strength to rebuild yourself enough to get out.

    You will still exist if you leave, I promise you. The tough thing is, I can see you're struggling to believe that.

    I'm so sorry.
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