how long can i hold on?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jdavis1987, May 20, 2010.

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  1. jdavis1987

    jdavis1987 New Member

    I don’t want to die… I just want everything to be better again. I want to right all my wrongs and live the life I was expected to. I am the epdidemy of wasted youth, I am what you prey your son will never become. I am pain, shame, I am that look in the eyes of the fallen. Please someone make me believe it can get better again. I want to be convinced, I want I want…. I never really had a chance. I become cursed at seven years of age. I’ve been a shell ever since. This isn’t fair.. not to anyone. I’m not sure I believe I deserve this. I wish I could believe that. That I don’t deserve this. But I do I really do. Let me clarify. When I say this isn’t fair, I don’t mean to me. That would be foolish to fancy such thoughts. I mean to my family, to my friends, to those who don’t even know me who I have yet to hurt. We can all see where this is going. I didn’t mean for it to end this way. I did love, and loved earnestly. Maybe that will be enough. I wish I believed that my pain will end with my life. But my soul is horribly scarred.
     
  2. jdavis1987

    jdavis1987 New Member

    i guess no one cares
     
  3. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    :hug: i care...sorry i just say this :sad:

    Hang in there hun... :hug:
     
  4. Nox Immortalis

    Nox Immortalis Well-Known Member

    I just turned 14 a week ago. I've attempted before, I won't tell details. I've had to be talked out of it several times. I self-harm. But my parents found out, and took me to a counselor. I don't self-harm anymore and I'm not going to kill myself. It's selfish, really. There are people who love you, even depend on you, believe it or not. Some of those people are here on this forum. Trust me. Took me forever to realise that. Please hold on... we're all going through this or been through it. That's why we're here. You probably deserve a chance more than I do. Hang on!
     
  5. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    I had similar feelings about wanting to right all my wrongs... What makes you say you became cursed at age of seven? I can relate I think I became cursed when I turned 13... although maybe it wasn;t until this year that I truely became cursed...

    I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.. Try to find do something you enjoy no matter how small it may be just help you get your mind off things. What are some of your hobbys or thing's your interested in?

    Also how old are you?
     
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