how long do i hang in there?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by npain42long, Sep 30, 2007.

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  1. npain42long

    npain42long Active Member

    okay new here. and i just thank God that i found this site when i did. i was so low last night. i am glad there are others out there who are in the same situation i am in. would you believe that no one knows how low i am. i keep thinking that it all shows like a blaring light but amazingly enough everyone comes to me for help when i am struggling just to make it through the day myself. i know this, it takes more strength to live than to give it all up. i could so easily end it all but i keep thinking about the ones i am going to leave behind. the ones who will feel the guilt for not knowing what i was going through. and i do not want to leave them with that. go figure, here i am again thinking about everyone else instead of taking care of me. i am just glad i found this site and people who feel like i do so i know i am not alone. thanks.
     
  2. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    I'm glad you are reaching out. Sorry that you are feeling this bad :hug: you are never alone around here. feel free to pm me if you would like to talk more xx
     
  3. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    It's good you came here. You get support here. :hug:
     
  4. j86

    j86 Well-Known Member

    A great forum we are. I hope you enjoy this place and continue to come back for support.
     
  5. doodstone

    doodstone Member

    i know how u feel - i am new to the board too - i felt really low this morning and the only thing stopping me is as u said - the ones who i would leave behind. all we can do is keep tryng to get thru the day and keeping the faith that it will get better.
     
  6. yeh.

    yeh. Well-Known Member

    you hang in there until you got the power to change your future.
    what's your issue? i would tell mine but im fed up. i send ya a hug.
     
  7. npain42long

    npain42long Active Member

    thanks alot. i appreciate the hugs and thoughts from everyone. i have had a better day today. but it takes such a struggle. tell me something, do you think some people are born to wear hair shirts for the entire lives or is it an existence we made for ourselves? i must admit if i could i would don a new shirt in a heart beat and burn this hair shirt to a crisp. never to wear it again.
     
  8. npain42long

    npain42long Active Member

    yeh,
    what is my issue. man, do you have like a century. my main one is i live for kids who do not live for me at this point. however, i am sure if it was not that it would be some thing else. i tend to be very hard on myself and have a heavy conscience about everything. i want to solve all the world's problems, care for all the sick and infirm, obtain at least four master's degrees, and yet i find i am only one person. this is what makes me hang my head and determine is it worth the struggle i put myself through each day? i mean i could talk about the family i do not seem to have, the abuse i suffered through as a child, and the ex who seems to be satan's twin brother, but hey, they are just part of the whole enchilada.......
     
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