How many attempts have you made & what triggered them ?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lostcat95, Jan 14, 2007.

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  1. lostcat95

    lostcat95 Guest

    I have made 3, the first time I was in 6 or 7th grade. I don't know why I wanted to die but I did. The other times were triggered by feelings of failure and bad relationships. Would anyone like to share?
  2. 9eleven

    9eleven Guest

    none... im to afraid but that dosent mean i dont have suicide thoughts... :sad:
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    This thread could totally turn the wrong way (I know it is not intended that way).

    It could make people think they are 'failures' if they have not tried, or make people think they need to 'better' what someone else has done.

    So therefore I just want to say that IT DOES NOT MATTER (in this instance, it obviously does matter in every day life) HOW MANY ATTEMPTS YOU MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE MADE, IT IS NOT A REFLECTION ON HOW VILE AND AWFUL YOU FEEL INSIDE! You can feel absolutely shit awful and still not attempt. It is truly not a reflection on the level of 'badness' you might feel.

    However, with regards to that I can say that I will answer the second part of your question, ie why I tried, and that is because people want me dead, I am evil and scum and tarnish the earth and the earth is better off without me.

    Please lets not turn this thread into a 'competition'
  4. 9eleven

    9eleven Guest

    was thinking of the same thing... but still wanted to say im to afraid to do it...
  5. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    It's good that you are scared. Please hold onto that fear. That fear will get you through the rough times, and when things are better (which they will be, it just takes time) you will be so grateful for that fear.

    I have been suicidal for years but sometimes something really positive happens and I am glad I am here (rarely, but it does happen). So please please keep that fear honey. It will allow you the happy future you deserve
  6. 9eleven

    9eleven Guest

    thanks... i think i speak from all off us when i say that we all deserve more than this shit. not even serial killers deserv this kind of inner pain... no one does... i think the fear holds me alive and i will keep being afraid and try everything else...
  7. lostcat95

    lostcat95 Guest

    This thread was not intended to be a competition! I thought this was a place to speak freely and open up without judgement???????????
  8. delirium

    delirium Well-Known Member

    I don't think anyone's trying to judge you but I can see how it could have come across that way. Perhaps the response could have been phrased in a different way?

    I can also see how this thread could turn ugly but there's no competition here. We've all done what we've done and we feel what we feel...noone's better or worse because of it. We just are what we are.

    I think this thread was just meant to spur some conversation and encourage people to open up.

    ~hugs to all of you :hug:
  9. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I know it wasn't intended that way, and I said that, however I also know how my brain works, and I also know that many people have a similar mentality.

    I was merely concerned that people might feel belittled if they have not attempted as much, or attempted generally, that's all. Also, people might feel 'proud' if they have attempted more than someone else. That's all I was saying.
  10. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Sorry, I'll shut the fuck up.

    I was just trying to think about how people might think about it.

    Nevermind, got it wrong again.

    Sorry, I'll stop talking now
  11. delirium

    delirium Well-Known Member

    No, no...people do think that way, Scum. It's one of our quirks, I guess. hehe...

    No worries you two.

    There's nothing wrong with expressing your opinions and there's nothing wrong with starting threads to try to get people to open up.

    I don't want either of you to shut up. You both have some interesting ideas.
  12. lostcat95

    lostcat95 Guest

    didn't mean to upset u scum?
  13. delirium

    delirium Well-Known Member

    ~makes some tea :unsure:
  14. lostcat95

    lostcat95 Guest

    I guess no one wants to share...
  15. dark_malina

    dark_malina Member

    I've made many attempts so many that i can't count them anymore. My arms are full of scars and the last time I got to the clinic i got locked up in a psychiatric for a week and was diagnosed Bipolar. I was suposed to take lithium but it made me feel strange, like i was dead and my body worked by itself or something like that, i felt like drowning and i needed my insanity back so i quit taking it. I've heard that this disease when it's advanced is like alhzheimer but i don't care i can always kill myself and succeed. :laugh:
  16. shellz

    shellz Guest

    I have made eight attempts in the last year. I felt like nobody cared about me, useless, worthless, used, beaten, hopeless, useless, and I just couldnt handle the way things were going. It wasn't only my family. It was things that I had watched, things that had happend to me, and things that I have done. I was getting really tired of them always lurking behind me no matter what I did to get them to stop. I would keep things inside of me, instead of talking about them. So I decided to take my own life..but of course it didnt work...
  17. stillhere

    stillhere Active Member

    your so lucky it didnt harm u.
    ive made one attempt and it tortures me that it could have been prevented
    :( :( :(
  18. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I have not attempted but I keep feeling that I will eventually, just don't know when. I am absolutely terrified of doing an attempt, to commit suicide so is that reason enough for me to not do it? I'll probably fail anyways and end up injured which is pretty bad.
  19. Shogun

    Shogun Well-Known Member

    I've made only one serious attempt about 3 years ago, and I'm so much of a failure that I failed at that. That time I took 50 strong pain killers, to this day it wasn't explained to me why it didn't work, but I remember lying in hospital (alone) so upset that I was still alive.

    What triggered it was finally realizing that there's no point to life, and mounting problems that have gotten even greater since.

    If I could get my hands on a gun, then only one attempt would do the trick.
  20. red_trail

    red_trail Active Member

    i have made three attepmpts in my time (im 17 now) and only one of them nearly worked. i still dont think its a good thing it didnt work thoughxx

    much love xx
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